To those willing to help,
I was married to a man for 18 years. When I met him, he was working menial jobs and I was the successful one. He was very ambitious and wanted to grow a business. So as a good wife, I sacrificed everything for him, but the more success he acquired, the worse I was treated. Eventually, my self esteem plummeted and my identity was lost, but I was so blind because I loved him.
He would always say we couldn’t afford something but then he would spend 10x a normal amount on his friends and “clients.” He would constantly take long trips. I found inappropriate pictures on his computer and phone. He was getting texts from women in the middle of the night. I started finding receipts for 2, condoms, and he started leaving after our children and I went to sleep to have affairs with my friends.
He would make me feel like I was the crazy one for not trusting him. He would make up lies for everything he was doing and I was stupid enough to believe him. It wasn’t until I had started have female problems and being told it was due to a STD that I was done with the lies.
He told me about his affair (even though he had multiple). He lead me to believe he wanted to work things out. He wanted to go to counseling. His words were saying one thing but his actions were the opposite. Even his own children were seeing right through him. He had turned everyone against me because of his gaslighting.
Then the nightmare only got worse when I finally filed for divorce after finding him at his girlfriends house when he missed a family day that we had planned. He started degrade me when no one was around. He told everyone that I was a bad mother. He constantly would cause crisis after crisis to beat me down even more. I didn’t know until after our divorce that he was a narcissist.
He dragged out our expensive divorce by playing mind games with me. It was a game to him. He played the apologetic husband just so I could make agreements not listed on our divorce decree, so we could finally get divorced. He followed through on those promises for a little while then turned again. He stole holidays from me, stopped paying $500 a month in child support (He makes this in 1 day), stopped taking my children to church, and the list goes on and on.
He makes my life a living hell EVERY SINGLE DAY. He has never apologized for anything he ever does wrong and still continues to mentally hurt my kids or myself. This has caused my family and myself to go into debt for about $50,000 because of counseling, legal expenses, and medical/dental bills due to stress, anxiety, and depression. For example, I needed reconstructive surgery to rebuild my jaw when I cracked 4 teeth and the upper jaw bone due to the constant clenching. My dentist had ask if I was under severe stress because of the progression of my teeth and the fractures happening in my mouth.
Getting out of debt would help me to get on with my life instead of cause even more stress. I need some relief. I’m just mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. If you are able to help, you would have no idea the amount of appreciation I would have from your generosity. I will work to pay it forward to the next victim of an abusive husband (especially to those that wear their bruises on their minds and hearts).
My Future is Looking Up