Hi, thank you for reading.
I’ve come on this site to see if anyone with a bit of spare money might help someone whos struggling.
I’m a female (in the UK) struggling all my life with mild aspergers, social anxiety and depression. Now 34, years of hardships, rejections, aloneness, & failures have led me to clinical depression & troubled mental health. Also, not able to form any intimate relationship all my life, now at this age I’m feeling very hopeless. I had a two month turbulent, emotionally tormenting relationship last summer that led me to a break down, it was someone I really wanted to spend my life with, because of my mental health I’m unable to be with anyone. Since then I’ve been clinically depressed & suffer Post traumatic stress disorder. I only leave the house for food or my part time job. Otherwise I sit in sadness and haplessness, feeling a failure– no family of my own, career, home, lifestyle, my distant remaining friends all have achieved this. Every year I’ve tried to achieve something whether it be to find my ‘purpose’, or increase my finances, or to meet someone who wants to share life with me. However every year I fail at any goals. In younger days my youth gave me resilience to get back up trying again. Now I’m 34, I’ve ended up loosing my job and now have menial part time work. I rent but my shifts have dropped so barely can afford rent let alone any life. Im not stupid, im not incapable I’m sure I have gifts somewhere inside, Im just sad, & have no hope of being any use.
My one main goal in life was to find someone to spend my life with, all other things are just a bonus. After parting from the last guy I’ve lost all will to participate in life.
My request is for one thing that may bring me some light in life. I would like to go away to California, where the sun shines and people have hope and creativity, and are active and inspiring. I really want to roller blade along the side walk and just feel free of pain & crap & torment. & meet people who’ll inspire me maybe. I used to enjoy taking photos of buildings etc but it’s been drained away too. If I went, I’d love to capture everything and would be happy to share the photos with anyone that can help, as a gift in return. I’d be so grateful to have enough money to stay in California for a bit, to maybe ignite some joy in me.
I don’t believe in asking people to give to me but I believe in return maybe I’ll have something to give back somehow at a later stage. My photo-me 10 years ago.
Thank you for listening, if you wish to donate here is my account paypal.me/EBlossomstones