Hello,
I would like to start by saying thank you for reading my post to begin with. Whether you donate to my cause or not, just the fact that you have taken the time from your life to read about my life means a lot to me. Next I will start with letting you know that I have never done anything like this. I’m a very proud woman and I have always worked hard for my money and for the things I’ve had therefore, these last few years have been very hard on me especially when it comes to asking anyone for help. Whether it be because im proud or because I have self esteem issues and I fear rejection is a whole different story but bottom line is this terrifies me. When I was 8 years old my father passed away. He was the sole provider for our family. My mother was a stay at home wife with no education. I was the youngest of 6 kids. I watched my mother go through severe depression being left to figure it out. She left me alone a lot, sometimes for weeks at a time and I was left to figure it out. My other siblings all just kind of disbursed and did whatever but I stayed home. I remember making easy bake cake for meals and getting up for school. Walking to and from and wondering if she would be home yet. There was no life insurance check. My mom would always be found. She would always get a cooler with ice and beer, a few blankets and pillows, and head south to the unfinished cemetery where my father was buried and camp out. I promised myself than that if something ever happened to my husband that I would always be able to take care of myself and my kids. Now let’s forward 40 yrs later. Up until about 7 years ago I made good on that promise I made to myself. However what I didn’t think would happen was all of the near death experiences I myself would have during my life time that would eventually prevent me from working. Sadly when I could no longer work the ” love of my life” I had been with for 20 years decided that love wasn’t good enough. He kicked me out of my own home. (I made $15 an hour more than him. I put him through school so he could have his dream job though and I was ok with it all because I loved him) moved some woman in, and not just one but two in the matter of a six month stretch, and kept my son from me. How was he capable of doing this? Beats me, I am still dumbfounded and the things I could tell you about the way this man betrayed me is mind blowing but thats not why we are here. Besides it only fires me up and there’s nothing good about it and I would like to just let it all go. What we are here to discuss is how I did end up losing everything. Not only was I forced to resign my 20 year career but I lost my husband, my home, my vehicles, my sanity, my everything. I burned through my savings trying to stay afloat. I withdrew my retirement. See because the first year of my separation i really thought he was just going through some midlife crisis. So though I didn’t live there I continued to pay the mortgage and the bills on top of paying the jeep payments for our jeeps as well as paying for my survival. I have been fighting for my disability since I resigned my position. And its been a complete mess. I have many physical disabilities from the many things that have happened to me throughout my life along with a lot of mental including depression, severe ptsd, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies. Its really hard to work on rebuilding a new life, reshaping a new me, forgetting the old and starting fresh when I am literally living on nothing. I do get foodstamps thank God for that. But I do not get financial assistance from anywhere. My oldest son helps me when he can with $20 or $30 bucks so that I can get personal items like toothpaste and toilet paper. As far as any programs that could help I don’t know of any at all because I have never had to use them. But I have always donated to a charity. In fact I had a plaque on my desk at work that each year I was awarded a metal year to pop in a spot on the plaque for donating the maximum amount one could donate every year from their paychecks that the company would allow. Plus I was the one who carried the insurance for my family the entire 20 years I worked there. I can’t even get to my doctor visits that I need to get to because I don’t have a vehicle and because of my condition and I am supposed to be seeing 5 different doctors. I cannot walk to the bus stop because its to far away. I hardly get groceries. Its all dependant on when I can get someone to take me. I have one friend and he’s old and I hate asking him to run me around. My sister was my very best friend and she helped me with everything. She was the only sister I had and she died last year. Both my parents have died. My brothers are all gone. My son works out of state and is rarely home but he already helps me with the little money I told u about. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m thinking if I can atleast get myself a vehicle and enough to pay at least 6 months auto insurance than I can get myself to all the appointments I need to get myself to to start getting myself on the right track to either A) get disability the proper documentation they need or B) get me on the right track great enough that perhaps I will be able to get myself back out there in the working community if I start slowly. All I know is something has got to give and I have tried everything I can do within my own power. Now its time to ask for help. So will you please help me. I would like to raise $15,000.00 which would be to get me a nice newer vehicle that will last me the rest of my life. As well as auto insurance for 6 months to a year after the purchase of the vehicle. Thank you kindly. Now because we are supposed to attach a photo but also not be personal I am attaching a photo of a digital picture that I created of how I have felt over this last 7-8 years. I hope that it is suitable enough. Thank you Beautifully broken
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