I NEED HELP!
I have always been the type of person that refuses to ask for help. I’m stubborn. I would rather be absolutely wrong and fail 1,000 times over before I ask for help with the most minuscule issues. I feel as if the smallest of requests will inconvenience everyone. But sometimes there is nothing wrong with asking for help and I’m slowly learning this.
2020 was a rough year for everyone (myself included) and 2021 seems to keep kicking me when I’m already down. The only thing keeping me sane this past year has been my studies and my friends. And this is too great of an ask for my friend group (as loving and wonderful as they are) I can’t worry them more than I already do. I’ll start with this: I’m 20 years old soon to be 21 in the summer and I’m a full-time community college student (a semester away from transferring to a 4-year) who works part-time. I’m a double major in theatre arts and social justice studies. I live with my parents but my financial situation has always been “figure it out kiddo,” and I respect that my parents are trying to teach me some responsibility. For the last few years, this method has brought me to a point where I can be proud of myself. Which for a long time I couldn’t say about myself without being sarcastic. I had a wonderful credit score being so young and a sense of budgeting: paying them rent, paying my phone bill, buying my groceries, paying for my monthly bus pass, and paying off my credit card (to maintain my credit score.). But as the pandemic has closed my job off and on consistently in the last year my income has drastically changed. Also somehow amongst all of this Covid-19 scare, FAFSA has decided that my parent’s income has increased to a point that leaves me no longer eligible for grants to pay for my classes. This is in fact not the case and this whole spring semester I’ve been on call with FAFSA and my school’s financial aid office to figure out how the fees can be waived and I can get the hold taken off my account to register for my final semester. They refuse to look at only just my income because I reside with my parents and am under the age of 24. In the eyes of taxes, I’m independent, but to education and financial aid, whether my parents help me or not I am a dependent.
As you can see from the photos provided I came out of pocket for the fall semester with what I had left of my savings and I have found myself taking an emotional downward spiral since. My friends are doing what they can and have been sending me money to cover my phone bill or groceries when I (explicitly ask them not to once again that stubbornness), and my parents seem to think I’ll find my way out this time because I “always figure it out.” I don’t think I can. I’m so close to being done. I’m so tired and I have no idea what to do. I do not make enough at my part-time job to pay for this. I’ve worked so hard and I feel like I’m going to lose everything.
This is me coming to terms with the fact that I DO NEED HELP, and that I cannot believe do everything by myself. So if there is anyone out there that can help me it would be greatly appreciated.
Venmo: @Angelsweetmusic
18.JPG)
57.JPG)