I was never the type of person to know what I wanted in life. If people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up or what I would like to do in life that would make me happy, I never knew. Even as an adult, up until a few months ago, I still wasn’t able to answer this question. I know the reason for this had to do with how I grew up. When I was just 1.5 yrs old, my mother died of an accidental overdose and I, along with my sister and brother were taken in and raised by my uncle (my mother’s brother) and his wife. I won’t get into too many details but we were emotionally, mentally, and physically abused by her. My uncle who loved us, wasn’t around much when we were growing up because he worked to make sure we all had a roof over our heads (my aunt didn’t work at the time), but at that time in our lives, he also had a drinking problem and was at bars until late at night. So we were with her most of the time and this is when the abuse would occur. When we got old enough to complain to him (when he was around), she would always make some excuse for why we deserved what she did. Basically, we grew up in a household of fear. We weren’t shown love and affection. And we were not allowed the freedom to be who we were, have or express our own thoughts or beliefs, and were not allowed to explore our own interests to find out what would bring us joy (which is very important when young children are developing!).
Another thing I grew up with was being told by her that I was fat and always feeling like I was ugly. I don’t recall her ever calling me ugly, but I know she always made sure that my sister and I had short boy hair cuts -from a young age all the way into my teenage years. I didn’t even start wearing make-up until I was 17 or 18-something I had to start doing on my own.
I know now that I wasn’t ugly; in hindsight, I think she was jealous of us and the love that my uncle showed us that she felt was taken away from her after my mother died and they took us in. And while I’m sympathetic because they took us in (3 babies: 6 months, 1.5 yrs, 3 yrs) when they were also young, we could have had a wonderful relationship with her had she chosen to raise us differently, but I digress.
Fast forward, I’ve been blessed to have found a man that loves me and accepts me for all the issues I developed due to my childhood – which I’m trying to work through – and I’ve been blessed to have a job as an admin at a good company. However, I’ve finally found my passion and have decided that I would like to go back to school to get a certificate in cosmetics. Make-up is the one thing that makes me feel beautiful. I know this might sound surfacy, but in a world of hate, abuse, and bullying, if doing someone’s make up can make them feel beautiful even for one day, it would bring me joy to be able to make someone feel that way. And so I would love to learn how to do it professionally. There is a school that is 5 minutes from my job that I would like to go to, and I could go right after work for about 6 hours a week. The total cost is $1,695, and I would be so grateful for anyone that is kind enough to donate to this cost.
I have a full time job (admin asst.) but I never went to college and am planning to start school this spring to work on getting my account degree, which I will be paying for myself, while working full time. If I could get my makeup certificate by the end of the year, I can also do this on the side and use this along with my job to help pay for school.
For the donors, I don’t know how you decide who to give to but, thank you for taking the time to read our stories, for your consideration, and giving when you do!