I am a 18 year old Asian female born from immigrant parents and I’m stuck in a financial pit. My parents are divorced. My mother recently remarried and is in a different state. My father, remarried and then separated with a baby boy. My father doesn’t want to help me financially. He’ll pay rent for a roof over our heads but that’s pretty much it. We don’t have a father and daughter bond. I want to get out of this low class loop by becoming successful. My current goal in life is to become and architect and build my own home eventually. Unfortunately I have to put that on hold.
I was an A+ student and student body president in middle school. I enjoyed my life so much during that time of my life that I had a hard time struggling to adapt to high school. One day me and my father got into an argument because my father’s now ex-wife decided that I needed some discipline from not going to school or sleeping on time. I was told how much that I was a stupid and incapable child because my dad didn’t understand what mental health was. I was struggling with social anxiety in a new environment. That one argument turned my life upside down and I developed depression. I went through so much to get to where I am today. Depression is still in me but not as strong as before. I still get social anxiety from time to time but I’ve also learned to step out of my comfort zone. I like to get things done because it’s the best stress reliever.
Having gone through depression I’ve learned how it felt. I remember time stopping for me. Everyday went by but I felt like nothing was changing or happening for me. I hated that feeling so much I decided to start taking action and get rid of it. And so, I continue living. Got a job at a fast food place working 30+ hrs a week as a 17 year old. Payed more attention to my mental health my family. When I had graduated school I went to a community college with intentions to get my AA and transfer to a University to continue my education to become an Architect. That was when all my troubles began. Although I was living with my father, I was always at my mother’s place because that was my way to work and school. My sister got married and my mom also got remarried within the same month. My mother moved with my other siblings to the east coast to join her husband, and I back to my father’s. At this time I had a driving permit but not a license yet. I had to take lyft from home to school and back then on the very same day from home to work everyday. I wasted about $200 each week, half my paycheck at the time, each week for 2 months for transportation. After that I finally got my license on my first try. I drove my father’s second car, a chevy suburban 97’, for about 7 months and finally started driving an old car my dad had got for me. My car is currently broken somewhere. This all happened in less than a year
My car is a Honda accord 01’ with 280,000 miles. A used car that was fixed by my dad for me. The first time I drove it I realized how unsafe I felt in it. The transmission would stall as I was accelerating. The temperature for my engine was always on high. It felt like the car could die anytime. The car is a gift for me from my dad as a 18th birthday and graduation gift from my dad. It’s not that I’m not grateful. I’m the only one out of my other 5 siblings to get a car from him, so I’m grateful about it. But I know he can do better.
During this time I was receiving monthly mail for my ambulance bill which was $2,400. One year ago I had acute lower back pain and inflammation from working too much, too hard. I ended up in the ER. On my way out I was told that my father’s insurance, for some reason, couldn’t be processed for payment. I ended up paying that bill, around $1,700, a few months later using some of the income tax I had received. Only to be sent an ambulance bill of $2,400 soon after. I couldn’t go to my dad and say, “Hey dad, I have an ambulance bill of $2,400 because I ended in the ER from lower back pain.” To him I’m too young to experience back pain. Instead of empathy, I knew he would only feel disappointment because I was a burden. For some reason I, his own daughter, was a burden. So I kept quiet. To this day he still doesn’t know. March 2019 I sent in a check of $2,400 to the bill collectors….. I took my entire savings and all my money just to pay it all. I took the cash on the side that I have for emergency. Coins from my piggy bank. All my savings in my bank. Gathered them all and sent the check. I was only left with $300 in total. I also payed $500, using my credit card, to fixed the broken brakes in my father’s Chevy because he always waited to long and I was not willing to risk my life in such a big car.
I’m so tired of having to worry about my financial status. I decided to stop community school and go to a vocational school for medical assisting. The quickest way for me to get money was to become certified first in a good paying field. Doing so I had to resolve with taking a detour and putting my dreams on hold no matter how long it took.
The past two months have been so difficult. I found a school. Applied and only had financial aid and tuition left. During the financial aid process, I came across so many walls. Obtaining my father’s paperwork was difficult due to the fact that I was home when he was working and he was home while I was at work. Within two weeks of school, if I did not finish my financial aid and loans I would be dropped out of school. I finally broke down after doing all this alone. I realized that my dad is not willing to help me. He told me that he would did not want to help me by taking a loan out for me. Even though I know he can. He cared more for his self than me. Probably cause I looked like my mom or because I’m a daughter but he did not seem to care as much. He is more selfish than any person I know in this world. Every weekend he is gone somewhere with a different girlfriend every few months. He has all the material things he needs or wants. While I work a 32 hours a week at a fast food place for minimum wage. Him being so unwilling to help, I had to reach out to one of my brothers who just barely graduated from college not too long ago. In the end, I ended up with the student loan of $11,717.77 for the next 5 years. I never asked for this. I never wanted loans. But I had to in order to change my life for the better. To make things better my car died the very next day after I finished my financial aid. I honestly want to junk the car. I believe it would be a waste of money to try and fix it. But I don’t have enough money to even buy a new car.
I’m asking for help in paying my student loans and helping me buy a new car. My school is currently 20 mins from my home. And my work place is eating away at my sleep, study, and time. I live everyday wishing for a miracle.