My name is Maggie, and I am a domestic violence survivor. My divorce from my abusive ex-husband has been final for a year, yet recouping will take much longer. Upon finding freedom and learning who I am again, I have decided to go back to school for Healthcare Administration.
I currently have a degree in Radiology and am a CT Technologist. I have decided to go back to school to further my career in hopes of getting into policy management in the healthcare system, as I believe there is a lot that needs to change. Beyond finishing this bachelor’s degree at Eastern Michigan University, I am hoping to attend graduate school for a degree in public health.
Below you will find my survivor’s statement. I posted this piece on Facebook a few weeks back at the advice of my counselor who believes if I tell my story, it will help with healing.
I survived domestic violence.
I survived being hit. I survived being choked out on the floor. I survived my things getting broken. I survived furniture being thrown at me and broken around me to intimidate me. I survived being called a slut, whore, stupid, bitch, c*nt, and selfish. I survived having someone take my car keys, money, credit cards, and phone in order to hold me hostage so I could not call for help or leave. I survived being kicked out of the car and having to walk home at midnight in the dark, alone.
I survived severe anxiety attacks and stroke like symptoms from being under constant stress. I survived mental breakdowns in public, in which my parents had to come pick me up.
I survived my ex-husband’s intimidation and manipulation techniques. I survived the mind games that made me scared to see my family, because if I did, I would get hurt or yelled at. I survived the mind games that made me scared to see my friends, because if I did, I was reprimanded or ignored for spending time with other people. I survived putting on a face in public, while, internally, I screamed for help or to die.
I survived lies about finances. I survived being kept from financial knowledge, “for my own good”. I survived asking for money. I survived being screamed at about not working enough, even though I held a fulltime career.
I survived calling the police, after being pinned down on the ground, spit on, and screamed at two inches from my face. I survived being picked up and thrown into the wall, so hard, it made a dent. I survived being barricaded in a room for long periods. I survived the threat of my ex-husband hurting my dog. I survived explaining what happened to the police. I survived writing an official police report. I survived watching, my then husband, leave the house in handcuffs.
I survived hearing the sentencing of my, then husband, being charged with assault and battery. I survived hearing that the State of Michigan was pressing charges.
I survived filing for divorce. I survived court dates. I survived telling my lawyer what happened. I survived telling my doctor what had happened. I survived visiting Lacasa, a shelter for battered women. I survived creating an escape plan with Lacasa. I survived telling my family and friends. I survived the Judge granting me my divorce.
That day, I cried. Harder than I ever have before. I cried out of happiness to be free. I cried out of sadness for the death of my marriage. I cried out of fear of change.
I survived the rollercoaster of emotions. I survived contemplating going back to my ex, because between the attacks it was so incredibly good. He said he loved me, he showed it. And I believed it. I struggled with still loving him but hating him so much at the same time. I survived the rollercoaster of emotions.
I survived leaving, and not going back.
I survived domestic violence. I survived physical abuse. I survived psychological abuse. I survived emotional abuse.
Being a domestic abuse survivor comes with many scars and a lot of pain. I have received and continue to receive professional treatment. I have been made out to be the ‘bad guy’ by my ex-husband, but I am slowly learning to be okay with that, because it is time to shut that door, nail it, and lay brick over it.
Today, I am thriving. I have begun to recoup financially. I have a great job, which allows me to travel. I have met new friends and re-connected with old ones. I have met, and begun to grow with, the most incredible partner I could have wished for.
I make no apologies for how I have decided to heal myself. I make no apologies for the person I have become and continue to become. I choose to continue to heal, I choose me.
I survived domestic violence.
Recouping from domestic violence and divorce takes a huge financial toll as well. I am, humbly, asking for help to may this semester’s remaining tuition bill for $1,721.50 (Bill can be seen below) for attending Eastern Michigan University in Ypsilanti, MI.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for considering a donation for my education.
payable to: paypal.me/mewebster02