Hello, my preferred name is Naomi, I’m 18 and currently desperately wishing to be able to get accepted to collage. My home situation is not great. My mother is a narcissist (my parents got divorced when I was 8, she would pretend to be dying…almost every day, on the kitchen floor, for attention. She’d sometimes stop when my then 4 year old brother started vomiting from fear, but sometimes she pushed even after that). My grandma, also known as the only adult in my family who has ever loved me, passed away after fighting the Alzheimer’s disease recently. I Used to visit her multiple times a week after school and on the weekends for several months, it was very emotionally draining and time consuming and therefore I wasn’t able to keep an afterschool job (except a very badly paid babysitting). My mother didn’t appreciate what I was doing and keeps calling me lazy (I’ve also heard her say that she’d love to kick me out of her apartment, but that she’s „too nice for that“ to multiple family friends. She’s also writing me out of her will, says that I’m strange, stupid…). Because of her I didn’t get the space to grieve and am constantly reminded of what a failure I am. I looked into my dream collage and I’ll get accepted if I complete a language exam costing 250 dollars and pay a 50 dollar fee. The problem is that I need the money as soon as possible because I need to apply for the exam which takes place in the beginning of January. I need to get out of here and the school is in a different city. Any additional support will be very much appreciated as well because I’ll have to start paying a student living and all of my expenses. I really want to get a job but I am so very anxious because a few months ago I’ve shaven my hair off, I don’t know why, I was just so stressed about everything going on and there were scissors available… The problem is that I’ve been hiding behind my hair my whole life and now I feel so exposed and naked and anxious and my parents still don’t know (I’m terrified they’ll find out, they are really conservative). My graduation is approaching quickly and I’m so afraid I’m going to fail. What if I am a failure after all? I’ve talked about everything with my psychology teacher and she told me to seek a psychological help but I’m too afraid to talk to a stranger and even if I wasn’t I don’t have the money. If you want to ask me anything, you can reach me at @naoteami on Instagram. Oh and my collage majors would be Spanish and English (my dream is to teach them). If you want a friend just text me! I hope I don’t sound like a brat. If I do, I apologize.
(NOTE: I have had jobs… I used to work at a bookstore and a flowershop, I used to work in a call center and I’ve babyset multiple kids, I’ve also taken care of my younger siblings since they were little. I try.)
my paypall link: https://paypal.me/naoteami?country.x=CZ&locale.x=en_US