Hi everyone,
I feel silly begging for money on the internet. Gross really. Basically, as the title says I just want to get on track. I thought I did everything right. I got a job young and tried to save. I listened to my parents and went to college because “if you go to college you will be successful and make enough money to pay off debts”. I opened a credit card because “you need to build credit and this is the best way to do so.” I even tried budgeting (way to ADHD for that not going to lie.)
I got a degree through a community college. A gen Ed liberal arts degree mind you, but debt is scary and there is no ‘my parents don’t pay my bills’ box on the FAFSA form. I still can not get a job that pays enough to make more than minimum payments. I would love to further my education and become a Vet Tech but learning is expensive so a general education degree it is.
I got Care Credit to help my boyfriend with needed dental work and ended up using it for emergency visits for my cat (his name is Oscar and he is perfect and orange.). He got blocked and needed emergency surgery….twice. And then there is my dad.
My Dad tries so hard to be a good Dad and that is more than a lot of people can ask for, however, like everyone and every family he has his problems. Our families problem is alcohol abuse and suicide. When I was younger I did not know about his suicide attempts, only his alcohol abuse. As I grew older he was always in a relationship. He can NOT be alone. Last year I was finally in a position to buy a house. I saved a very small (but good enough with first time buyer programs) down payment and my credit was great. And then Easter of 2020 my Dad and his wife got on a fight. He got drunk and physically abused her before attempting suicide. He was arrested from the hospital. I was called to bail him out. They separated and during this time he was so distraught by what he did combined with being alone in a small apartment (that I had to help with the security deposit). He wanted to die because he did not know how to live financially in this world, which is what caused his father to leave the world of his own hand. Long story short I figured I could always make more money but I can never make more Dad. I did everything I could. I brought him dinner daily, I decorated his apartment while he was at work so he did not feel like he was living in a lonely box, I paid his ambulance and hospital bills.
Fast forward to today. He is back with his wife after intense therapy and “doesn’t have the money to pay me back” even though they just added on an addition to their house. He throws a 20 to me now and then.
I’m hurt, feeling unimportant, and all I wanted to do was help my Dad. I am to the point where I have a maxed out credit card, a debt relief program (I thought I was so smart but it was a scam), a maxed health credit card, student loans, and Rent in a day where renting is expensive. I just want to pay a bill without having to go into more debt. I work full time and door dash when I can as well. I’m not lazy. I work very hard at a vets office, dog sit on the side, make cakes when I can, and door dash. It is just so expensive to be alive.
I am not sure anyone will read this, let alone donate, but I thought I would try. Honestly, it feels good just to get everything off of my chest.
Thank you for reading.
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/jessrenea994