Hi! My name is Stephanie. I’m a mom of one 8-year-old. Clearly, I’m here because we’re in an awful situation. I feel a lot of guilt and embarrassment due to the whole situation. My son’s father is a narcist and we haven’t been together for 7 years now. I have always been the consistent and reliable parent. I have solely provided for my son his entire life. He’s made me such a better person in these past years. we’ve overcome all the obstacles. I’ve always made it work. His father has been in and out of his life as he pleases. Previously he wasn’t in contact with us or had any visitations for 10 months because he was actively using and admittedly couldn’t take care of himself nor his son. Just before Christmas 2021 he’s come back into my son’s life again. As per our court order from when we split, he has his son every second weekend. But he’s never followed this order, he’s always just taken him when he could. He works full-time most of the time. But can’t keep a job. He uses drugs on and off. He thrives on making decisions for my son since we have shared custody, I can’t even seek a therapist for my son without his consent. Which he won’t because of his own mental illness’. Since 2019 I’ve been in and out of the courts to try to acquire sole decision making for my son. I’m not trying to take custody away. My son loves spending the little time he has with his father and when he is in the capability of doing so, I encourage it. But for my son to live his own independent healthy life he needs to see a counselor and come up with his own perceptions of his dad in good time. His dad won’t sign consent waivers to have my son speak to a professional. This is the main reason I need to have sole decision-making power. I work my butt off, 2 jobs and take care of my son by myself. Financially as well. I have never received child support or financial assistance from anyone or his father. But between the cost of life skyrocketing and my court date approaching, I can’t seem to pay down my lawyer’s bill. I’ve sunk over $15k in this process already, I still owe 3000$ before we go back to court on June 6th. It’s all going to be worth it once it’s over, I know it. But I just can’t seem to not feel like I’m drowning. I have to look put together and confident for my son, but I spend a lot of my time worrying and stressing about how I can keep this up. I think I need to ask for help. I’m asking you for help. Throw me a buoy please.