I haven’t had the pleasure of living my life over 15 times (Though if you are looking for a good book the First Fifteen Lives of Harry August is a great idea.) So sadly this one is messy and bumpy. If you are in for a bit of a story please continue to read. I can only hope to entertain you enough, you might hear me out.
This life has finally began to turn its self around for me or rather I have actually began to steer for myself. A woman’s life should be preoccupied by the pattering of little feet down hallways she just cleaned and the sounds of laughter as the children are no doubt into something that most would not permit. At least that is what I would want my life to consist of. It was with this notion that I left my husband. I couldn’t bare the emotional strain of trying to be the everything to everyone without the help of a partner if one was supposed to be readily available and vowed to be so. He had left my bank accounts as empty as he left my bed. Not that I could hate the man for that, no. But, I could hate him for the state of the house and the children as I toiled away from the place often twelve to sixteen hours out of twenty-four.
My story is common place enough. I dropped out of college at his behest that I get to work and had babies. I married a man I did not love because he was and is still dying. He has MS. So I destroyed my own future for the comfort of his present. But as the months turned to years he became unwilling to assist even in the slightest tasks and I was not beloved wife and mother. I was servant.
I am a servant no longer. Losing my mother, losing a pregnancy, and a well paying job took its toll in a short time. So as all my safety nets, all of an ounce of security I had to fall back on, disappeared he became unabashedly willing to abuse my good nature. And I decided to leap, because falling or flying was a better option on my own. It took homelessness and hard work to get me into an apartment of my own. And being poor comes with extra costs. And I laugh when people tell me to apply for food stamps and help like medical coverage. I have. The truth is I do not qualify for anything because I constantly work one to two jobs and I am a fan of overtime. So why exactly am I asking for help? I am looking for help to remedy three problems in my life, my student loans, reliable transportation, and for the short term hurdles that I’m trying to get over.
I borrowed $12,ooo for my education that I wasted. I admit my own fault that I should have finished and gotten something out of it. And if I could redo it I wouldn’t have gone there at all but rather found someone to teach me a trade. As that is precisely what I plan on doing now. the problem is with working and living in a financial abusive relationship my student loan debt is now staring down $20K like it is a foot race where the prize is a private screening of the latest blockbuster with the stars at your side.
My car is not long for this world. He sputters oil like an old smoker in the early mornings. I recently picked up a beater with a heater in an attempt to remedy this problem as I had worked over 59.5 hour the past week. Not realizing that this was also the week I have to buy school supplies and pay my phone bill. I am a master of poor timing. Which would be my current headache. You see because next week I have rent due and the job site is unwilling to continue to allow me to work such hours. And all of this is compounded by the fact that I am going to need a babysitter to ensure my children are dropped off to school and picked up on time. which will run an additional $140 a week.
All in total I believe I need a reboot button.
If I receive $500 that would solve my short term headaches.
If I receive $ 1,500 It would alleviate my short term hurdles and allow me to fix my car which will allow me to get the apprenticeship I’m wanting.
If I receive $2,000 It would do all of that and allow me to get my divorce.
If I receive $25,ooo that would reboot my life and clear away my debt so I can be free from the bad choices that I made in my past.
The last bit is unexpected of course. But If nothing else, It couldn’t hurt to ask. If you do decide to help, know that its not just me that you are helping. I have two beautiful little hellions that make my life worth while. And I want to give them the confidence and guidance so they are never right where I am in this moment. So thank you.