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Last Updated: January 30, 2021

Single Mother of Two Desperately Needs Help Starting Over

A little over 7 years ago, my son passed away unexpectedly. His death was horrific, tragic, and almost destroyed me. I received a job offer out west that I couldn’t turn down. the only problem was that I could not take my children with me. So at the time, what I thought was best, was to leave them with my mom and her husband. In the two years that I was gone, she and her husband made my children believe that I abandoned them. They told my children that I didn’t want them. One of my daughters was raped. When she went to my mom and her husband and told them about it, they said that it was her fault. She should have never put herself in that situation. They somehow convinced my oldest daughter that I was an abusive monster. During these two years, I had no clue any of this was going on. I just figured the reason why I didn’t hear from them much was because they were just being moody teenagers. I moved back down south to be with my children. I love to attend about an hour away from where my children like. I got established and stable, and then asked my children to come I live with me again. My oldest one had refused, but my youngest one moved back in with me. I had no idea that she was six months pregnant. My mother knew, and did not tell me. She refused to take my daughter to an obgyn. She also knew the circumstances of how my daughter became pregnant and refused to take legal action or provide any comfort or peace. Instead of my normal, energetic, happy child, she was more like a wounded puppy when she came to live with me. Although she was 6 months pregnant, she was not showing. It took her a while to tell me everything that had been going on.  My heart broke. I confronted my mom about it, and she placed all the blame on my CHILD. Even though it was her responsibility as my mother and my daughter’s grandmother to keep me informed about her life. My daughter made the decision to place her baby for adoption. She gave birth in early December…. Leaving the hospital without her baby, without my grandbaby, was the third hardest day I’ve EVER had my entire life. And it definitely was not something that my daughter deserved to go through at such a young age. I found out about everything, I told her that I would back her 100% with whatever she chose to do with the baby. But she made the right choice. She knew that if we kept her daughter, that she would be a constant reminder of how the baby was conceived. She knew that if we kept her baby, we would struggle even more financially. Not long after my daughter had her baby, I had a mental breakdown. I think that dealing with her situation, triggered the trauma that I went through losing my son. It was so bad that I couldn’t get out of bed, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t even shower. My child that was/is going through something equally as traumatic, had to take care of me. She had to make sure that I ate. She had to make sure that I showered. She checked on me quite often to make sure I didn’t do anything foolish. As a result of my breakdown, I lost my job a couple of days before Christmas. We live in a pretty small, rural town. We do not have a car. the place I was working was literally a couple of miles down the road from our house. So I could walk to and from work. There is nowhere else in our area within walking distance that I could apply for a job. When I first moved here, I decided on this town because it was 45 minutes away from where my children were living at the time. Also, my mother’s side of the family lives here. It didn’t take long until I figured out that they’re just as terrible as she is. I don’t speak to any of them anymore. My mom included.

The reason why I made this post is because our dream is to move to Charlotte, North Carolina. I’ve done quite a bit of research on it and have met a lot of people that have either visited or lived there. Not one person has had anything bad to say about Charlotte. There’s a great job market for what I went to school for. The rent seems reasonable. Like I said earlier, we do not have a car. I’ve  gone through what little bit of savings I had to pay bills. I need help buying a car and moving expenses. What we want, and so desperately need is a fresh start and a new place that we know we will be able to succeed. Please if anyone can help, we would be forever grateful. Making the choice to help us, could positively impact our lives in ways that you’d never know. Thank you for taking your time to read this.

Filed Under: Single Moms Tagged With: USA

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