I hate to even be on here, but a mom knows no boundaries, right?
At age 33(now 35), I was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune liver disease (long story short – my body is rejecting my liver) I took the diagnosis on head strong for almost 6mths until I let it actually sink in with what I’m facing. There is no known cure at the current moment and the method of treatment is “try and keep me off a transplant list” fun, right?! So, fingers crossed – my guinea pig ass is still trying to find the right combo of meds to trick my body into some sort of remission. Ive had to suppress my immune system with steroids (f*ckin nightmare) during a pandemic(did I mention nightmare already?) Yet, on top of it all, I have a son, Klaus – and he will be 3 in May. (Had him mothers day 2019) and I have been on this journey alone.
They say in times of need, you find out who your friends are. *crickets* but not even a money aspect – ive not had a single day and/or night to myself since he was born. Not one. Ive had surgeries, biopsies, the diagnosis, the stress and heartache of my son being diagnosed with a CHD (Pulmonary Valve Stenosis) , and some trials of meds have/had made me so sick that what little savings I had was depleted to make up on late bills, etc. And that savings was definitely needed bc I am high risk for life insurance so I can’t afford what few offers I can get. I have usually an average of $5/$10 bucks a week that might make it to next payday.i work what I can while I wait to be deemed worthy enough to be granted disability.
If I don’t work part-time – we won’t have a place to live which then disqualifies me for any government assistance.
Ive just hit that point where it doesn’t matter if there is a light at the end of the tunnel, just as long as the tunnel ends. And it breaks my heart, where I cant play or show attention to my son (when I am all he has) because I’m too busy trying to scrounge up 20 bucks to eat that week. Sigh.
And as for family, my mother had told me numerous times the wrong daughter died (my sister passed over a decade ago) so she’s not real into helping me with, well anything. Even though there’s a grandchild involved.
I am just asking for a little breathing room, a stress free night to play and not worry, help to start a safety net again. I pay forward when i can. I volunteered so much – I was given the honor of being a lifetime Girl Scout, I volunteer at the food Bank that I even get help from, I just need someone to have my back finally. Almost 3 long years has finally taken its toll.
Thank you for taking the time to even read. Stay blessed.