For the last 4 years of my life, I have been abused by the father of my youngest child. I’ve faced multiple near death experiences and have walked around black and blue almost every day for the last 3 years. After the first year of my relationship, I learned that the man I planned on spending the rest of my life with is a heavy drug addict, abusing every drug imaginable, but his DOC was heroin, which is, in my opinion, the most world wrecking drug of them all. In the first year, everything was great. But once the drugs came into our lives, he became a completely different person. He was a cheater, a liar, and the most violent person I have ever met. When I looked into his eyes, I really believed I was looking directly into the devils eyes. My kids witnessed more than I even want to admit, because they shouldn’t have had to witness anything at all. I had an encounter with CYFD because of the domestic violence, and came extremely close to losing my babies. That alone should have gotten me away from the evil trap I was in, but he refused to let go. I knew needed to get away from him and remove him from my life, and I never believed it when I heard other girls say it, but it really is easier said than done. At first, I was at the stupid girl phase (excuse my lack of a better way to say it); I didn’t want to give up on him, I thought he loved me. I thought he needed me and I will be able to save him from the demons that took over his life when he allowed the drug into his life. But I soon learned, only you can save you from yourself. I couldn’t help him if he wasn’t looking for help. Then, I was at the stage where I let him make me feel guilty for giving up on him. He would cry his eyes out because no one else would care what was happening to him, and he would ask me how I was going to explain to my daughter that her daddy overdosed because her mommy walked away from him and left him alone. And last, the blackmail stage came into place. He would use every little thing he could possibly find wrong with me to blackmail me. He would threaten me, my family, and even my children if I even thought about leaving him. He threatened to turn me into CYFD for things I knew I wasn’t even doing, but I was so afraid of losing my children, I let him brainwash me. So there was always a reason why I couldn’t leave him. But finally, I broke free. I had to finally put my foot down and realize that even if he did try to black mail me or try to turn me in to CYFD or threaten myself or my family, I had to remove him from my life, I would just need to prepare myself for all the above situations, so that’s exactly what I did. I made the police aware of the threats that i was facing if I were to leave him, that way they could be prepared for what was going to come, and all I could do was hope that the police would see what kind of person I really am, despite the picture he tried to paint of me. And it worked, I am finally free!
In the last year of my relationship, he became the worst I could ever imagine. He was so paranoid, and so suspicious. I wasn’t ever allowed to leave his sight because he was so sure I was cheating on him or trying to leave him. He even thought I was cheating on him with my cat! So because of his insecurities, I was not allowed to have a job, because he needed to keep me close to make sure I wasn’t doing anything wrong. And even when I was with him EVERY MINUTE EVERY SINGLE DAY, he still thought I was cheating if I walked into a different room, or if I refused to shower with him. Being unable to work, I fell extremely far behind on all of my bills. My car, my apartment, my utilities, everything. I am currently on an appeal bond because I was recently evicted from my apartment, but my grandmother helped me pay the appeal bond to take the eviction case to a higher court. And I have still fallen behind on my rent, and am struggling to catch back up. I am hoping to be able to raise enough money to bring my bills current before I am evicted from my apartment because my children and I absolutely love our home and would be devastated if we do end up having to leave our home. I am asking for and appreciate any donations, big or small, just to be able to get back on my feet after finally being able to escape the evil that has been holding me back for so long. I’m not asking for help for myself; but for my 2 baby girls. Because after the horrible things that they have had to witness, and the hell they have had to face because I was too weak to walk away, I want to give them everything that they could ever wish for, because they deserve it and I owe it to them. My baby girls are 5 and soon to be 3 coming up in August, and they are my whole entire life and more; they gave me a reason to live every single day even when I felt like dying, I looked into their eyes and remembered what my purpose was.. and that is to be their mommy and to show them what love really is and to teach them that what they saw their mommy go through is not what any woman should have to go through and they should never settle for someone who hurts them. I want to show them that they deserve the world and so much more, and they should never settle for anything less.
Thank you in advance ❤️