Hello, my name is Abi and I’m an autistic woman and domestic abuse survivor in need of some help. I am a single mum of 2. I have no one to ask. I have only 1 friend and my mother and that’s it so I don’t know what to do. I wish I had friends, its lonely being me.
The last 5 years have been hell. I separated from my abusive husband who after is still trying to harass and abuse me even now and is currently on bail awaiting court. When he left he wiped the bank account, I only had a joint one with him as wasn’t allowed my own. As soon as got paid he transferred everything out. But he left all of his bills in there so instantly I was in debt. I took a new account out and moved my bills and mortgage etc and froze the joint account. He refused to pay child maintenance and after back and forth with the child maintenance service and years of non payment he now had a deduction of earnings. Until he quit his job.
Anyway I carried on, took on a new job with more hours, cut back on everything else. Divorce proceedings started and had to get a solicitor involved. This seemed to make my ex more determined to destroy me. He refused to comply with deadlines, distribute show up to court, basically every play in the book to cost me the most money. I used every penny I had and credit card I had available, borrowed money from my mum to be able to get the help I needed to divorce him. She even put solicitor costs on her credit card.
You think after 4 and a bit years I would get a but if a break after it was all finalised but his campaign of abuse started again. This is when my health took a dive.
In December I started experiencing stomach pains and lost over a stone in weight in 2 weeks. I was sent for an endoscopy which picked up an ulcer, hernia and some super bad bacteria. Given antibiotics and sent on my way.
Weight still dropping, stomach problems still there and blood in poo so sent for colonoscopy. That picked up diverticulitis so sent home with advice and appointment for dietician.
About 2 weeks later I was admitted to hospital as an emergency with suspected appendicitis. Caught covid, scans showed infection and possible perforated bowl, given iv antibiotics, stayed in for a week and sent home with antibiotics to finish.
Admitted back again by ambulance as spent 2 days throwing up, stomach pains. Sent for referrals.
Admitted back to hospital again but this time they picked up problems with my liver and had a liver biopsy (thru the neck). Diagnosed with autoimmune hepatitis and now on 2 steroids as well as numerous other tablets to go with it. Autoimmune hepatitis is where my immune system is attacking my liver. It is a chronic disease with no cure. But hopefully it can be managed with medication. It is rare in that there are only approx 15,000 diagnosed in the UK. It is not caused by drinking, I’m sober anyway! The Dr’s don’t know why I have it, stress is a major factor and I have been stressed for years.
I take 22 tablets a day minimum, more if in pain. I hurt all over, nauseous all day, I am so tired but can’t sleep more than a couple of hours. I am dizzy and lightheaded. My mobility has gone, my legs and ankles swell, they constantly hurt, I am anxious all the time. I can’t stop worrying about the future.
This year alone I have had 1 endoscopy, 2 colonoscopies, 3 ultrasounds, 3 ct scans, 2 mri, liver biopsy. I’ve lost count the number if blood tests but am having weekly blood tests now, weigh ins as I’m struggling to put weight on still so am being monitored. I have had 4 hospital admissions of 4+ days each time so far as well as 12 days in A&E for over 15 hours each time before being followed up as an outpatient.
I am still under investigation for the stomach pain as this is not related to the autoimmune hepatitis. They think I have a rare disease but because so rare they can’t test for it so am in limbo with that.
My struggles with my legs mean getting in and out the bath can be dangerous. But for now I will be using the kettle or saucepans. My boiler had to be switched off as emitting gas so not safe. I cannot afford to repair it right now! A weekly trip to my mums (60 miles roundtrip) for a proper bath/shower/hair wash and will make do with strip washes.
I have mould on my bedroom walls, half the electrics don’t work, no heating, I’m failing as a mum! I have used all my holidays and company sick pay and will loose money for time off. My employer has been flexible and understanding but if I don’t work I don’t get paid. I have sold my wedding rings, jewellery that was passed down to me, Old toys, clothes. Anything I could sell I have.
I have no one to ask for help and no idea what I am going to do.
I have £10,000 left on my credit cards to pay from the divorce which had I not got poorly I could have managed to may off over a couple of years but I can’t now. I need to get a new boiler. I’m letting my health go to make sure my children are fed and warm, despite not having a boiler. I can’t afford to eat the foods I need to as they are so expensive and I have to choose me or the kids. My kids will win hands down every time. But doing this is going to make me even more ill then I won’t be able to be there for them. They are awesome kid’s and need me, they’ve been thru so much already. I have looked at refinancing but my credit is not allowing me. I’m in a no win situation.
So I’m begging for some help please. If I could get an extra job, sell my body anything to make some extra money I would. I’m just not well enough to do any more, I am barely existing as it is.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope you are well.
Donations great fully received at paypal.me/Happyflurry