My name is Holly and I’ve never done this before. I am going through an extremely difficult time right now. I am desperate. I don’t know what else to do. I am currently living in a one bedroom apartment with my two girls. One is three years old and the other is almost a year old. They were everything to me. They are the only good thing to me in this world. I am beginning to slip again though.
I made a lot of had decisions growing up. There was a lot of anger inside of me and there still is. My father molested me and my mother was to drunk or high to care. I watched various men hurt her. She was too wrapped up in all of her own trauma that she wasn’t exactly there for my brother and I like she should have been.
I began to not care anymore. I started drinking. I became bulimic. I was put on probation and I even went to jail. I lost custody of my daughter, but I recently just got her back thank God. I don’t want to mess up again but it feels impossible to move forward. I owe a grand in child support to the state. I owe another grand in fines. My car was stolen and that’s another four grand I have to somehow dish out in order to better my credit because it’s shot. I need to reinstate my license and I am currently without a vehicle. I could go on and on.
I do receive food stamps and I do work part time cleaning houses but it is hardly enough to support the three of us. I feel alone. I don’t have any family that I can count on to help me. The father of my children is nowhere in sight. I need help because it feels like I am drowning and going back to old habits is tempting. I love my girls though. They don’t have anyone if I’m not taking care of them. I struggle with numerous mental disorders daily. Constantly. I don’t know how to be happy but I am trying desperately to be for my children because I don’t want them ending up like me – feeling like their mother is too sad to put aside time for them. I am begging you. Please. I need someone to help me. I don’t know where else to turn. I just want to be able to move forward with my life. That is all I’ve ever wanted. I would be more than grateful for anything. I am pasting my paypal link below if you would like to help. I can’t tell you how much it would mean to me. God bless you all.