I have always worked for everything I have. I got my first job at 14 and I started paying the bills and the rent in my household. I took custody of my brother and sister when I was about 19 . I did have to grow up quickly and I had many adult responsibilities as a child. It was tough but I am glad that I went through everything I did. It gave me many strengths . I believe It’s good to have some responsibilities as a child. Unfortunately it also put me in a hole that I have been trying to work my way out of for so long and I don’t see the light at the end. Because I had things put in my name so young my credit is ruined. I have evictions. I had no support no guidance and no one to count on but myself. I had my first child at age 17. I see looking back that I was trying to put my own family together . I wanted a sense of normalcy in my life and I wanted a loving family to be a part of. My parents were addicts . They abused alcohol, drugs , they gambled . My mother was a hoarder and she never worked. My parents split up and I became the head of household when my dad left. He was in jail for most of my childhood. My mom had mental illnesses. I wanted better for me and my siblings. I started working and paying for everything . I was a child and I didn’t always make the best decisions for my own future. I always had to do what was best at the time for all of us and I had others to think of besides myself. I had kids to take care of . My own and my siblings . I didn’t have time for college. I want to go to school to get a degree. I don’t know if that will ever happen. I did graduate high school . I don’t have any degrees . What I really need is a good job. I don’t have to have lots of money. Or a big house or fancy car. I just want to be able to pay my bills and not constantly worry. I always work hard but the jobs I am able to get don’t pay well. I know I can do better. I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to finding a new job and doing an interview and the change and everything that comes with a new job. My parents are deceased and in my early 30’s I am left with terrible credit , bad rental history, no college education and debt. I am a single mother and I want to give my kids a different life than I had as a child. They are really good kids. Yes money would definitely help us. I would never dream of asking strangers for money. I don’t ask anyone for money . I don’t even have anyone to ask. I think to myself , Why should anyone give their money to us . Money that they earned. But then I also think, if I were in the position to be able to help someone who needs help I would feel awesome to be able to do that. I hope one day I will be able to do that on a level that actually makes a difference for someone less fortunate than myself because I know that there is always someone who has less than us. But I also need to be able to depend on myself. I want to be able to take care of my kids myself and not have to feel like I have to resort to acts of desperation like depending on the kindness of strangers on the internet. The only place that I was able to get accepted to live was somewhere that the rent alone is more than what I make in a month working full time cleaning houses. I don’t know how I am going to pay my rent next month. I am planning on doing some cleaning jobs on the side or whatever I need to do to get the money I need. But not knowing if I can pull it off is so scary. And like I said money would help us greatly . But what I really want is to find a good job. I want to know I can provide stability for my kids. I am willing to work hard but for once it would be great to actually get paid fairly . Not have to worry. If I get evicted from this apartment we have no where to go. I have trouble even getting accepted at any apartment or house. Because of my income and my rental history. I know I am intelligent and I am a very reliable employee. I just need the opportunity to prove my worth and I need a push in the direction of a career rather than a dead end job. What I want to ask for is information . If anyone has a job to offer. If someone knows of an opening that can help me. If someone knows something that could help . Advice? I appreciate anything that anyone has to offer. My son that I had when I was 17 just graduated high school and I can’t give him anything. Im so proud of him and he knows I am . He doesn’t expect anything . He knows our situation. But how it feels to not be able to reward my kids good behavior is heartbreaking. I want the next one of my kids that graduates to have a different experience. I am not where I thought I would be by now. And I fear that each of my children will grow to be an adult before I can give them anything they deserve in life as their mother. Thank you for taking the time to read . Anything and everything is appreciated so much. My PayPal is @taramann64