I am 40 and mother of 11 y.o. twins. I’m not sick or unemployed, but I struggle to make ends meet.
I have changed my job after 17 years of being a teacher for better payed job. I also tutor students and work during weekends in an adult school. However, whatever I earn is not enough to pay for bills, loan instalments, food, clothes and cost of building a house for me and my sons. I am a single mother. The father went abroad 3 years ago and has a family of his own now. He contacts the children, but it is very rarely. Also, he pays child support, but it is very little amount per child – around 100$ monthly. I cannot make it more legally, because he didn’t give me his address so I the court can’t send him the papers. I tried to reason with him, but it’s no use, he simply won’t help.
My situation is rather complicated, but long story short – Some time before I met the father of my kids I helped my friend financially. I trusted the guy so much that I took a loan in my name and he promised to pay it off. Several instalments were paid and he stopped. This way I had 10000$ in debt which I had to pay myself, when the „friend” disappeared in thin air.
Then I met the father of my children. Love of my life. But after it turned out that it would be twins, not one kid, he changed. Things got worse with time. In the meantime we decided that I will sell my flat and buy a parcel. I went to live with him in his flat. With money left we were to build a house for our family. But it turned out it would take years to complete as the father could work on the house just 2-3 hours a day, after his work. I wanted him to help me get a loan in a bank to build the house in a year or two. But he refused saying that he won’t take this debt for life. We didn’t finish the house obviously. After we split up I was on maternity leave with children, no home and lots of bills to pay and kids to feed. I had to provide for them and I got caught up by instant loan spiral. I generated a debt of 15 000$. I had no other option, had to take care of my kids. My parents took me and the kids to their home, but it was difficult to manage. When my maternity leave ended I went back to work as a teacher. I got a deal with bank and I managed to pay off some of the debt, but still it is a lot left and the instalments are killing my budget. I also rented a smal flat to live on my own, not to abuse my parents’ good will and kindness. After some time I managed to sell the parcel I owned. It let me buy an old wooden house with a garden. Some money left after the purchase so I used it to pay for major reconstruction of the house, however, it still needs reconstructing and redecorating to be habitable. To do this I need around 15 000$. The bank won’t give me another loan due to my earnings being too low. I would manage to finish it using the money I earn, but after paying bills and loan instalments and all necessary food, clothes and cost of fuel for my car I end up with nothing. Sometimes I need to ask parents for financial help.
All in all at this point I have 40 000$ in loan and the installments take almost all the money I earn. This situation makes us struggle so very much each day. We don’t live, we barely exist.
Please help us have better life. I would be grateful for any help even the smallest one.
https://www.paypal.me/SloviAnka
Researchers have said that just in 2015 year ending alone over 80 percent of the households in America that we’re single households we’re in fact ran by a FEMALE head of household which we’re mostly living very poor.
Many people may say well there is government assistance for them to get a grant but it’s hard to find and information regarding that said topic anywhere. So in hopes to help the single mothers out in the world this article will give you some insight on the different assistance topics we can cover including where and how to get a grant or scholarship. Also, you will read and see how simple it is to receive help with income expenses and medical insurance.
Are there really grants for a single mother?
Of course they do but these grants are not only for single mothers. However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t help for a mother to receive one. I know its mind boggling that the government hasn’t had any means created for money for a single mother that is actually in the shape of a grant. One thing the government does for a single mother is they assist them through a group or have set sponsors through a company, and sometimes they are covered by the actual income assistance completely.
Below are a few websites that will redirect you to free items that you can get just for registering on the website.
Low Income Assistance for Single Mothers / Government Grants
As I said there is not an official grant for a single mother available that is FEDERAL. However a single mother can go through federal programs and register and sign up for them. Those kinds of programs are usually for households with low income. Which means you would also qualify for Welfare. No matter what the case these are programs to help those who make below the limit and live poorly.
Below are different types of assistance based in the United States.
TANF – TEMPORARY ASSISTANCE FOR NEEDY FAMILIES
TANF is a crucial for many low income families located within the US.
With TANF you receive a small amount of cash every month that you can use toward your food, rent, and other necessities. However you only receive TANF for up to 60 month limit.
If you are a single mother and you have children in your home who are less than 19 years old you are eligible for TANF.
SNAP – SUPPLEMENTAL NUTRITION ASSISTANCE PROGRAM
Food-stamps or SNAP as other people may refer to is financial help for meals. You can receive money every month to place food on the table if you are on low or no income.
For most of Americans living in poverty SNAP is potentially the only assistance they can get.
Research has shown that in 2015 SNAP benefits have helped at least 45 million Americans. Most of the ones who receive the stamps are under are up to the age of 18.
When you go to use your benefits for SNAP you have your own personal debit card to ring your groceries up with at the register. If you are interested in trying to get on with SNAP benefits all you have to do is fill and application out and send it in or take it into a local office that deals with SNAP benefits.
NSLP – NATIONAL SCHOOL LUNCH PROGRAM
This is a program that gives free (or discounted) food to students whose parent’s income is bellow a poverty level. The income needs to be at least between 130-185 percent bellow the poverty line.
Most the time if a person is a receiver of SNAP benefits their children will be accepted into this program for free lunches. But, that doesn’t mean if you don’t have or receive SNAP that your children are disqualified.
You need to contact your child’s school to apply.
TEFAP – THE EMERGENCY FOOD ASSISTANCE PROGRAM
Food for the American families who are in the poverty range not matter what the age.
If you have received food stamps before or any other program assisting you and helping you such as the ones in this article you could also be approved for this program.
You will need to contact your State distribution agency to learn more about the Emergency food assistance program.
Local Food Banks
A food bank doesn’t exactly fit into the whole “Grant” program area as it is actually a location in your town where you can get food if you are in need.
Do not allow you or your family to go without food. If you ever reach that trouble you can call 211 and ask them where the nearest food bank is based on your location.
More then 200 food banks exist with the feeding america foundation and they supply enough food to feed over 40 million people.
WIC – WOMEN, INFANTS AND CHILDREN PROGRAM
This program includes a package deal where you as a mother are able to receive healthy foods, whether you are pregnant or a new mother, and also to children who are 5 or under.
WIC is a program that is temporary and only used for a short amount of time – usually between 6 to 12 months.
EARLY HEAD START / HEAD START
These programs are for children up to 5 years old.
You can receive free child’s medical and dental care along with their schooling, and dietary needs.
Find your closes headstart office on their website or call at 1-866-763-6481.
Insurance for unemployment
This is a special program which will pay you weekly if you are unemployed and it had nothing to do with you for you being fired or let go. You will only be able to receive this benefit for maximum 26 weeks. Different states have different benefit rules. But most states will average out at about 45% of whatever the average weekly income is.
Single mothers who are out of a job temporarily can find solace with these benefits and can help make the burden less for themselves because this pay will restore what you have lost from losing your work.
If you want to try and get this started and opened for you, you will have to find your local unemployment office or apply on the website for this specific program. Most states will allow you to also try to sign up for this over the phone.
Section 8 housing
Section 8 is basically a program that helps a family be able to pay for their housing. If approved you will receive a voucher of up to 70 percent of your bills (utilities and rent). You are expected to pay the other 30 percent.
If you want to apply and feel you qualify you can get in touch with your local office involved with public housing, the HUD office.
CCAP – CHILD CARE ASSISTANCE PROGRAM
This is a benefit for families who can’t afford to place their children in daycare while working.
You still have to pay a certain percentage but it isn’t a big lump of money. The less you earn, the less you need to contribute.
EITC – Earned Income Tax Credit
It is a tax benefit for people with low income. You could potentially get as much as $6,000.
If you normally have a tax rate of $1050 but you are allowed $5550 then you get refund of $4500.
There is a Children’s Tax Credit too for as much as $1,000 for EACH child.
LIHEAP – LOW INCOME HOME ENERGY ASSISTANCE PROGRAM
LIHEAP is a program that is a one time help to help pay for heating / cooling expenses.Most of the time this is for the disabled or families with children or disabled person in the home.
If you need any extra information regarding this topic you can get in touch through the number 1-866-674-6327 or a local number for your local LIHEAP office.
WAP – WEATHERIZATION ASSISTANCE PROGRAM
Weatherization assistance program lowers energy bills for families in need. Usually the elderly and families involving children are accepted and put to the top of the list before all.
Your monthly income need to be below 200 percent poverty level.
To apply, find a local WAP center.
Medicaid
Medicaid is help with medical expenses. If you do not have health insurance this gives you certain benefits as long as your income restriction meets the level it should.
A lot of single mothers may meet the standards to be recipients of Medicaid even if you are unemployed.
Every state has different rules about Medicaid plans. You can find out exact requirements on this website.
Together with ObamaCare it ensures that even single mothers who didn’t receive any health benefits will now be able to have coverage.
CHIP – CHILDREN HEALTH INSURANCE
CHIP gives children without health insurance a chance to have health benefits all the way up until they are nineteen. It is for families whose income is too high to receive Medicaid benefits.
It provides every type of benefit you can think of — dental, eye exams, and even annual doctor’s exams.
Every state has its own rules. If you would like to learn a little more about this specific benefit you can call 1-877 Kids now (1-877-543-7669)
Federal Pell Grants
Aid program for students of up to $5,815 for those in need to be able to set foot into college.
This is the best opportunity for a mother who is single to finally be able to finish her schooling and finally continue in the workforce. The money is completely free of charge with no interest rates or paybacks ever.
You need to fill out an application and submit it for a pell grant and have it turned in on or before June 30th of every year.
Federal Supplemental Education Opportunity Grant
Similar to the Pell Grant. If you already have had pell grants and you are at the top of the charts in need you will be first on the list to receive this. Depending on a persons needs that are wrapped in with their financial struggle will ultimately decide who will receive anywhere between $100 too $4,000 annually.
Charities
Charities can be a way to seek help for you and your children whether you are in need of food or clothing or even housing. A lot of charities around the world actually have their own food banks that they run and they will give you bags of free food.
If you go to salvation army a lot of the times they will let you sleep there if you have no where else to go especially if it is a result of violence.
Churches
Most churches will offer you food and clothes or maybe even a place to stay if you have been recently kicked out by the one you are living with.
To find information on this you should look through your phone books local listing or yellow page. You can also research online and see what churches are available to your area and call them and ask what services they do offer.
Loans
Single moms can receive loans usually relatively quickly but I would not recommended that at all. You could potentially go into debt and not be able to rise back from that.
Sometimes you have no choice because you have to fix your broken car or maybe pay for utilities and food and need the help right then. But you have to be able to pay that loan realistically quick.
Pay attention to your credit because if you try to get a loan through a bank or anyone they will check your credit score and see if it is even available to be able to place a loan out to you. If it is a loan that is for payday loans or credit card advances they will not run a check but you will end up paying more after fees and costs.
Line of Credit
If your credit is decent some people ask a bank for a loan personally. Most of the time this is a better idea then asking for a payday loan because if you need quick money with lower rates of interest this is it.
Personal Loans
On a personal loan interest is lower dramatically but you have to pay in instalments. It doesn’t really fit criteria for an emergency. Normally if you just tell them you do not have any more funds and that is why you need this they will turn you away. If your credit is poor you will not be able to even touch this offer.
Short term (payday) loans
This is a very popular type of loan. You may know it by the term “Cash advance.” The interest runs really high on these and it is a loan that is only for a small time frame.
This is a loan that would more then likely be considered if a problem arises and you needed to repair your car or had a disastrous dental emergency. You have to know for sure you will be able to give every penny back.
If you do not pay this type of loan back you could be in loads of trouble financially.
Credit card cash advance
Do you own a credit card? If so you will be able to get money from a bank as easy as 1, 2, 3. This is not a method that is highly praised though because as soon as you start taking money out of the bank the interest keeps rising and you also are charged for using and pulling out of the bank a fee. This is potentially the easier options if you do need cash asap but you have to pay it back and make sure you absolutely can.
When it is all said and done grants will not solve your money issues within your home if that is what you expect. To get a grant is definitely not easy it isn’t a walk in the park by any means.
If you are looking to get a more stable source of financially being stable you should probably look in areas around you or find a women shelter until you can get back up on your feet.
If you think you have all the time in the world you can apply for other areas of assistance such as Food stamps, HUD, and etc. They do take a lot of time and effort for someone to get back with you and let you know if you have been accepted and enrolled. Try finding a part time working job as a way to financially start becoming stable again.
The moral of this is you can not expect a grant to fall into your hands without effort and take all your worries away. They are only here too do one thing and that doesn’t usually fix anything with your financial setting.
This is all on you and what you decide, no one else can decide for you.
Filed in February and still Waiting for Child Support
First, it was hard for me to decide to do this. I am a single mother of two girls. My youngest dad was who I thought would be my forever. Trouble from the start he was but I’m a lot to swallow myself with my mouth and willpower. We always bumped heads and things for some reason never seemed to just settle down. It took me two years to realize that was his intention. I tried everything to have the happy all-together family. I paid for relationship counseling for him not to show, I probably own a library on relationship books. We did daily devotionals. I even printed relationship worksheets. I loved him and was willing to try anything. I even got to the point of being submissive allowing the wrongs to be done. You see, since my daughter was a couple months old he began disappearing for a few days at a time. During this time he was unreachable and I had to wait until he popped back up to do anything about it. I was a stay-at-home mother and no license. When i ran out of diapers or formula it was either friends/family helping me out or i was packing the baby up and walking the streets of Norfolk no matter the weather to get what she needed. I would throw my fits when he got home and he would just take off again no matter how much i begged him to stay. Eventually i stopped asking him to stay knowing he would leave regardless and would beat him to the punch by telling him to go. I didnt really want him to go but in my mind at the time it lessened the blow of being left anyways and there was nothing I could do about it. Now, I am not claiming to be any saint but the amount of abuse and inhumane treatment I took from him now that I had time to realize what it was, is unbelievable that I tolerated as much as I did. I was torn if I was the cause of what he was doing to me or if he really had no right. On top of the disappearances which gradually increased from days to months, he is now on his fifth assault charge. Those also were my fault. I was a snitch. I regret it too because I believe the assault charges are what lead to the worse abuse, the mental and emotional damage. By the third assault charge I have given him more than enough right to disregard me and the kids for days and weeks. Once he felt I learned that my behavior gave him every right for his disregarding and abandoning he tried regaining his right to be physical. He mistaken my weakness for his power as it took a day of given forgiveness to be abused for me to realize calling it in was what was necessary. by this fourth one, counted as his second thanks to my lack of self confidence that I had a right to hold him accountable. I scrounged up 5000 to have a lawyer turn 3 into 1 for first offender status and a new city restarted the count and bypassed somehow the good behavior violation from another. Luck always in his corner as I scream beg plead for some understanding of the impact being done to me which impacted the children in my care. The guilt alone is something for me to battle with each new day and with each new challenge. Anyways to sum it up though I filed for child support feb. 2022 before we were even officially done. on fathers day he made his biggest disguard move by moving some girl into his grandmas with him who lost her own child and i learned from her family was willing to spread legs for anyone who would put a roof over her head and drugs in her system. What I did not understand during this time was how she was more what he desired than the mother of his own child who made my kids a priority. It makes more sense to me now with time. I can go on and on with specifics to just how horrific an experience i been through. I did not even express the amount of emotional trauma and loss of self I cope with in my moment to moment. Nor did I mention the new developing struggles of moving forward without the random days he decided to be of some benefit few and far in-between. I’m unable to trust my own judgement, I am dealing with the change of being a loyal partner for three years to being itemized down to a sex toy now outside my relationship by majority of men approaching me. I am reserved and trying to find the love i lost for myself along the way. I am savy at making ends meet but now its been nearly a year with a third continuance before child support established and I am asking for some help so I do not bury myself in a financial hole before getting any help to come out of it. Im ashamed the responsibilities of my partner have always been on my shoulders or the blessing of family and friends choosing to support my burdens. Maybe someone who can lend me a hand without feeling a hole in there pocket would be willing to help a mom on the shit end of the stick. It would be beyond appreciated. I am not only asking for money donations. I always like hearing someone elses stories or advice or opinions on narcissist abuse. I diagnosed him myself so I’m not for certain but four books read and its the only explanation i have come across that addresses the many red flags and desensitized decisions I have encountered through this time. Thank you for reading my survival story. The ending will be phenomenal when its finished.
Drowning and Desperate
I’m at the end of my rope and I am 100% desperate for any kind of kindness or help. I don’t know where else to turn, as I have tried everything. I tried contacting debt consolidation services, which act like they want to help, but in actuality just made me feel dumb. I have a job now, I had a better job before COVID with insurance, retirement, all that. I have a job now, but it’s nothing like what I had before. I’m trying to build my credit, but this past year has literally been one hit after another and I can’t keep up.
I have a bill in collections that I have been paying down, but I can only do $50 per month. Its about $500, and I have credit card bills that I keep making the monthly payment but then I end up having to use it to make gas purchases, or groceries. I can’t get the balance down, and 2 months ago I had to open up a new card because my cars starter went, and I needed new brakes. It was over $1,500, so now I have 3 credit cards maxed out. All that, and the car literally just died on me this weekend. So now I have nothing. I can’t even junk it because I still owe 1,200 on the car. I feel like I am being tested. I’m a person who always tries to do the right thing and I feel like I am constantly getting beat down. I have thoughts of suicide, running away, all the horrible thoughts that keep you up at night… I’m 42 and I just don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel at this point. I have 3 children. My daughter is in college, I have taken out loans that I don’t even know how I will pay back. I’m drowning in debt just trying to survive. I don’t have nice things, I live paycheck to paycheck just trying to get by. All these monthly payments make it almost impossible to save, or leave enough in my account for emergencies. Now I have the car issue. Car taxes are coming up… I don’t know what to do. On the outside I act ok, but every day I’m panicking because I don’t know what I am going to do and if this is going to be the week were everything REALLY falls apart. So here I am, begging for money. I know there are others out there in far more worse shape than I am, and I also know that if I was ever in a position to help others I would absolutely do it. But I am the one that needs help now. I need some sign of hope. If I can wipe my slate clean, I can hopefully get on track and not feel overwhelmed everyday. My daughter needed a winter coat and I had to charge it, even though I know my card was almost maxed out. I feel like I am going backwards. I don’t want these cards anymore! I got them to help build my credit, but they have become my crutch to get through hard times, and now I’m falling apart.
I’m humbly asking for help, from strangers. I’m desperate. If you could help, even a little, you have no idea of the burden you would be helping to lift off my shoulders. I’ve included images of my CC bills, as well as my current bank account. As soon as I got paid last Friday, almost all my paycheck was gone to auto debits for bills and car insurance on a car that not longer runs. I can’t take this anymore. Thank you for taking the time to read this plea.
https://paypal.me/jrondini
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