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Last Updated: January 20, 2019

Out of the darkness and into the light

Hello, my name is Rachel and I am 31 years old. First I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my story. It is not easy for me to ask for help, especially from strangers, but I have nowhere and no one else to turn to. Ever since I was a teenager, I have struggled with addiction in one form or another. Alcohol, drugs, eating disorder, smoking, sex; didn’t matter what it was as long as it made me feel good and eased my emotional pain. When I was 21, my dad passed away from alcoholism; his demons got the best of him. All through my 20s I battled my addictions and experienced a lot of pain and suffering as did my family. In and out of rehabs, sober living houses, relationships, when I got sober I bounced back and was able to get my life back or more often get a new start. I always had help though, my mom sometimes, but more often men who wanted a relationship with me and took me under their wing. Each time I lost it all (the job, the relationship, the car, the money, the self respect) it became increasingly harder to get it back. But I never gave up, I kept fighting. Then I got pregnant and I checked myself into a year long program. I did amazing, it changed my life. I found God and started to love and forgive myself and slowly I began to heal. I gave birth to a beautiful daughter I named Kennedy Grace, and she was the light of my world, she still is. Eventually, we left the rehab facility and tried to make it on our own. It had been extremely difficult because I have a minimum wage job and I my debt and bills are astronomical. My car insurance alone was $250/month because of a dui in my past. It has been a difficult journey digging myself out of the hole I got into but I have stayed sober. That is a miracle. Then in September, things got worse. Consequences from my past came back to bite me. I got pulled over for speeding and I found out I had a warrant from an old dui charge that I thought was dropped. I got arrested, and ended up doing 2 months in jail. My mom took care of my daughter thank God but we lost our apartment and I got another broken lease to add to my debt. While I was in jail, they replaced me at my job and no longer wanted to offer me full time. I finally got out the Sunday before Thanksgiving. That week I started having pain in my right leg and hip. It got worse every day and on thanksgiving I woke up and couldn’t walk. I went to the hospital and they told me I had a serious infection in my hip joint. They had to do surgery on it to clean the bacteria out and the doctors ordered IV antibiotics for 4 weeks. I had to go live in a skilled nursing facility. The day I was getting discharged, they told me that a CT scan showed I still had the infection and it had spread into my bone. So back to the hospital I went. The doctors changed the antibiotic I was on and prescribed 8 more weeks of IV antibiotics at skilled nursing! So that’s where I am now, on week 2. I am terrified of the future because I have no where to go when I get out of here. I have no savings, and all my credit cards are maxed out. From the DUI, my license got revoked for a year and my car got repossessed. I’ll be on probation when I get out and have 6000$ in fines that if I get behind on, I’ll go back to jail. I literally have 0$ to my name. I have tried so hard to change my life so I can provide a good life for my daughter but it feels like I’m swimming upstream. With everything I have done, I deserve to struggle, but my daughter doesn’t. Please help us if your heart calls you to do so. I promise I will pay it forward and help anyone I can when I have the means to. If you can’t help financially, please keep us in your prayers because faith can truly move mountains. Thank you for reading and God bless. 

PayPal.me/edenturquoise

Filed Under: Single Moms Tagged With: USA

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