Hello, I have been told my whole life be a good person, work hard and everything will work out. Another words be spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially stable. Feel pathetic and I have been trying this for many years and I am by no means perfect. I have made mistakes but nothing that is not normal for a human being to experience. My weakness is my heart and it has caused myself to be in unhealthy situations a lot in my life. I am a mother of two. I have been self employed most of my life but while raising children it became difficult to maintain everything. I have in the last year applied for over 100 jobs and that is no exaggeration and I cannot land a job. Been on interviews and nothing. I have lived on credit or borrowed money it’s disgusting. I live in a small town and the opportunities are slim to none. I grew up in this area and my children are in school and do not want to uproot them. I feel your damned if you do and damned if you don’t. How do you be a great mother, which is everything to me and yet be able to provide for them with no opportunities. I was taught to work for everything and sacrificing morals to get somewhere is never a choice for me. Maybe, that’s why I am where I am? I have had 6 different staff infections behind my brain, cervical cancer and plenty of other medical bills through my life which has never put me ahead of the game. I have been physically & mentally abused by relatives and relationships. Still I get up everyday hoping someday life will get better. I am a wonderful mother, I volunteer at school and help the elderly a lot. My passion is caring for others and I will never quit doing that no matter what. I would be so grateful to get rid of my debt and be able to live in a nice home so I am able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. A secure job would be great. I have thought of everything I can think of to make my situation better. My life seems to slam more doors than it opens. I feel I have so much to offer this world but yet no one is seeing it. I have been a nanny for 7 years and have taken care of others who have had diementia and cancer prior to being a mother. Which I loved working with private employers. I have tried this route and the potential is not real rational considering where I live and raising my children. No one wants to suffer or beg. I get some things in life are self inflicted but others are not. I have been struggling for years and not sure what the answer is. I guess if I knew, I would be writing this. Please by the grace of your kindness I will be able to be the best I can be. God Bless and forever grateful.