My name is Amanda, I’m 41 and live in Mississippi. I’m divorced with 4 boys, work a job that pays most of the bills, and just like most people, I have big dreams that seem to take a backseat more the older I get. My life has had a lot of twists and turns that have thrown me off course. It’s funny how I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up as a child- an obstetrician with a Lamborgini, married to Val Kilmer and living in Australia. And now as an adult I find myself unsure about a lot of things other than the fact that I have let regret, fear and anxiety hold me in one spot for too long. After my 3rd born son died soon after birth, I slowly lost my mind and then almost everything I had. My career as an RN, my marriage, my happiness and drive. I became addicted to pain pills and spent 7 years of my life committing suicide in slow motion. That time in my life was dark and painful, and it took the crushing pain of loss and shame, getting arrested and ending up homeless and without hope for me to decide to live. Today I am 5 years and 6 months clean, and I have worked at a drug and alcohol treatment center for 4 years. My life today is all about helping other addicts to find their way out of the pits of hell and get back to living! I’m grateful for every single moment I endured and survived, and for every single answered prayer, and for the chance to rebuild my life and pay it forward. Currently I am renting a home and working full time- I have most everything I need, but not so much of things I want. My youngest son is 12 and he has never been on a vacation. It’s been that long since there was money, opportunity, and time for that. Wow. I would love to be able to get my RN license back, which means a semester of school and cutting back on work hours so I can focus on school. I would love to have a relaxing breath of peace, and be able to spend money on something that doesn’t take money away from something else before my kids are too old to want to spend a vacation with mom. I am in a position now where I’m treading water, and I’m grateful for that! But I can’t even tell you what I would give to have some financial security and slack. One of my biggest dreams is to open a treatment facility of my own, now that I have seen many different styles of leadership and programming, and witnessing what really works! I’m going to continue blessing people around me and doing service work because that’s what keeps my sobriety, sanity, and serenity intact. And I will have faith that there’s a blessing or two still out there for me, too! If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, please reach out to me! I may be the way your prayer gets answered :)
Thank you! Paypal.me/amandapanda0824