I have been struggling to get out of a bad situation for over a year now. We lost our home and had to move into my in-law’s house. There is a lot of tension and I feel like its a toxic environment for not just myself, but my kids. My in-laws are trying to say “their house their rules” when it comes to MY kids, and how I discipline them. Constantly contradicting me with the kids, and doing things I explicitly say to not do with kids. Speaking ill of me to them in Chinese, because they think I can’t understand them. My youngest has severe food allergies, and they are constantly exposing him to them and I am afraid he is going to have a reaction.
I tried going to college to finish degree, but with childcare being so darn expensive I wasn’t able to stay. Huge lack of support also. My spouse works and is a student, while for the last several years I have had no choice but to be the stay at home parent and put my spouse’s needs and career ahead of mine. That has backfired spectacularly in my face! Our relationship has crumbled, and he constantly yells at me and puts me down. I want a divorce, but have no financial power in this situation. I feel utterly helpless. My youngest child is now thankfully old enough to start school, and I have recently gotten a job that is during school hours. I also sell baked goods at the farmer’s market when I can, but I am not allowed to keep any of the profit for myself. I cannot hide very much money away to be “mine” and I don’t know how I’ll ever get enough to leave. He controls everything. I don’t even have enough clothes to go a week without wearing the same outfit. Both of our cars are in HIS name too.
My new job will be enough to cover rent in a cheap apartment, and utilities, and not much else. I need help to get from here to there, because I just don’t have the funds to make that leap. I can’t file for divorce until I know I have enough to pay for rent immediately, because I will be kicked out. I want to have apartment ready and set up before I leave, because once I leave I won’t be able to come back and get anything. It’s going to be ugly. Things are already ugly now, but it’ll be so much worse.
I hate asking for money. I hate that it has come to this. But I just don’t see how I can make that leap from where I am currently at, to where I want to be, if I don’t have some help. Please. I want to give my children a stable and loving home.