Hi everyone,
I am in dire need of help. I am a mom to 3 amazing kids. I was 16 when I had my oldest, their father 26. It has been a long and rough 16 years, to say the least.
My 8 year old was born with a brain disorder called Lissencephaly and cerebral palsy, as well as a seizure disorder. He is an angel and a gift to our family. My older two are « typical » kids who are compassionate and protective over their brother, though they have been through more than any child should. I’ve tried to do my best by them, but unfortunately they have been witness to my abuse by their father for most of their lives. He developed an addiction, and my dependency on the relationship make it very difficult to walk away permanently – I’ve since learned that this was a trauma bond. We split up for awhile, but he got clean and we reconciled 2 years ago. His sobriety did not lasts long and the abuse picked up with great momentum. After a while, he was stealing much needed money to fund his habit, and we fell behind on rent very quickly, with no way for me to catch up. I had left my job at the beginning of the pandemic due to my sons vulnerability, so money was already tight and my ex was not contributing in any way. In February 2022, we were evicted with nowhere to go. We entered a shelter with my youngest son, while my older 2 kids went to stay with their paternal grandmother. About 3 weeks into our shelter stay, I was assaulted. I was hit in the head with a solid glass/steel bottle of cologne, nearly knocking me unconscious. A month and a half later it is still not healed. A few nights after the assault, I was convinced and making peace with the fact that I was going to die. As I sat in bed, he stood over me holding an axe, ready to swing, threatening to kill me…he seemed very erratic and was clearly not thinking rationally, saying « I’m just going to do it »….I was then raped. Although my anger and hate had been building up, that night was a game changer for me. I layed in bed that night silently crying over the loss of 16 years and the future I had always hoped we’d have. I knew it would never be the same. I asked the shelter to be moved with my son, and had the help of CAS the day I packed and left.
My son and I are now safe in a different location, but I am struggling. I am struggling mentally, emotionally and financially. The grandmother is kicking my children out, and the only option available is for them to come stay in the room with my son and I and sleep on the floor. They are teenagers and want their privacy, and 4 in a room full time is isn’t ideal. My daughter is a very intelligent, mature and responsible young woman. It happens to be her birthday in 2 days. My heart breaks for her because for her birthday, she is getting kicked out of her grandmothers, and is convinced she won’t be receiving any gifts. She told me today that she doesn’t care about the gifts….she cares most that she is going to be homeless on her birthday. She’s not wrong though – a payment I was counting on has been delayed and I can’t get through to find out the problem. I have nothing to give her and im so upset for her. After the terrible year they have had, the one day a year that kids look forward to the most will be so painful and disappointing for her. I am desperate to avoid her feeling like no one cares.
On top of it all, my ex got me evicted from my storage unit, and I have to remove everything by Tuesday at 6pm, or lose what little I was able to take from our home. I don’t even have bus fare, let alone money for a new unit, a truck to move, a birthday, and a new home.
I am having incredible difficulty getting responses from potential landlords given the eviction and less than stellar credit, let alone securing a place to call home.
My family needs help. I am drowning snd feeling hopeless. Anything that can be done to help would be so greatly appreciated, and I would pay it forward when I am in a position to do so. Please help with what you can….you’ll be changing our lives.
@StephanieGaudette