Hello, this is very new for me. I don’t ever ask for help for fear of people shaming me or treating me and my kids different. I’m sure you’re reading this and thinking, “yeah, I’ve read this all before”. This is our story and current situation, no doubt its been very stressful and I’ve felt like I’m drowning and I often think, “you did this to yourself”.
I’m a mom of 3. I have a 12 year old boy, an 8 year old boy and a baby girl that just turned 9 months. I live in kansas, well ways away from all of my family in the east coast, I can’t leave because I’m currently going through a divorce (no idea how I’m going to pay for that), and I simply can’t leave and separate my children from their dad. We currently reside in a trailer thats falling apart (It’s rent to own, I owe $5,000 on it til its legally mine) ( haven’t been able to pay the land lady in 8 months..eviction moratorium is the only thing saving us right now). My stove quit working so I’ve been having to learn different ways to feed the kids (dorm room style). utilities are on the high end… its the only thing I’ve been able to pay little by little from baby sitting money.. which I only get $100 biweekly, if I don’t get it completely paid off before the 19th of every month.. they don’t care what the situations the utilities get shut off (in this small one horse town they group all the utilities together)…the trailer is growing mold from the humidity (I bleach the walls almost every day).. I’m not kidding when I say this thing is trash… but its home and we can’t afford anything else specially right now. Ceilings are trying to cave in, 2 days ago my 8 year old heard a kitten under the trailer so I had to get under the trailer to get this kitten because he was upset and worried about it.. come to find out none of the bathroom pipes are are hooked up to the sewage system and I’m too afraid to say anything for fear of the land lady condemning our home, fixing it and selling it to someone else (she’s that type of person), and since it’s rent to own I have to do all repairs. Even though everything is falling apart, and while I do have my priorities somewhat in order as best I can I want to buy the boys new bunk beds and clothes, since they are growing like weeds. I wish I could get a regular job but I can’t at this time because I can’t afford child care and the state refuses to help (long story short 2 of my children are from a previous relationship and even though I have filed for child support they haven’t done anything with the paper work and they keep saying I’m non complying. Makes no sense to me, and my soon to be ex husband (8 yr oldest father) has a 2 month old with his girlfriend and currently unemployed) (we’ve been separated since 2015). I can’t ask my “friends” for help because I owe them money, and they have stopped coming around because of it (depression kicks in, I’m barely managing postpartum depression) I did file for Ebt which they did accept me for food they started me out for myself and all three kids at $755, then the next month knocked me down to $250, took me off my case for 12 months because I’m “non-compliant” and are charging me $2,000 also because of a technicality of not informing them that I let my friend stay in my home for 2 months (she was evading an abusive relationship) It’s been one thing after another. I don’t have a vehicle at this time to get the kids from point A to point B. I sold it so I could pay off bills. My kids are my everything, and its been rough, my boys get picked on at school for wearing old clothes and shoes, and even on my last dime they refuse to ask me for anything because they know I can’t afford it currently, and it breaks my heart! For once I just wish I could give them whatever they wanted! Take them out to the movies or the zoo… just anything. I got lucky with my daughter that a Facebook community group that donates things to people in need had a bunch of baby girl things.. I also broke my front left tooth and had to get the rest completely removed and can’t afford to fix that either, and it’s really dropped my self esteem and brought on a lot of dressing moments. I’m just supper stressed, and I need a break, a miracle. If there is any body out there reading this that can help us, I don’t have much to repay you for helping me, but I can pay it forward as best I can.
Thank you for taking your time to read our story.