Approximately 2.5 years ago I broke up with my husband. Throughout our entire marriage there had been problems with lying, cheating, manipulation, control, and addiction. I didn’t even know how bad it was until I made the extremely difficult decision to end our marriage after being in a committed relationship since I was 18. 26 years of dating and marriage, 3 kids, a home, a business that we were running together, could not hold us together anymore. He had battled alcoholism and I stood by him and supported him throughout it all and he did eventually quit drinking. I thought I had gone through the worst and came out on the other side and life would be better going forward. Then during Covid, little did I know he started to use crystal meth. He hid it from me for at least a year, possibly longer but his behavior was becoming more and more peculiar. I was able to figure out that he was cheating on me too and I finally decided to put my foot down and end the marriage at the end of 2020. It was not easy but I had family support. I was going to have to find a new job, possibly give up my home, start all over again in life at 44 years old. When I confronted him he told me about the drug use, he tried to convince me to stay with him but I couldn’t. But we did agree to not make the break up hard on our kids or each other. He convinced me that getting divorced right away would be a bad financial decision because the business would be worth more down the road and I would better off in the end. He moved into the rental home we owned and I stayed in my house with my kids. I returned to a good job and he was paying support. This all blew up in April of 2023. We still didn’t have a separation agreement in place. His drug use was worse than ever and he was, unknown to me, driving his business into the ground. He wasn’t paying his bills, his child support was sporadic, and he was extremely paranoid and delusional. He barely interacted with his kids and even when he did it made me nervous. His financial situation was bad. He defaulted on two personal lines of credit for almost $60,000. One had my name attached to it so creditors were calling and threatening me. I begged him to be responsible and deal with the situation but he just ignored it and I was left stressed out and scared. At the end of April his business partners kicked him out of the company, he had no income and stopped all money going to me and his kids. He hasn’t paid his utilities, his property taxes, or any other bills and those are connected to me because we owned the rental house together that he moved into, under a business name. In the meantime I’ve been working at getting the separation papers completed, working, paying my bills, taking care of my kids and trying to keep everything together month after month. Then in early July of 2023 shortly after he was court ordered to be placed in a psychiatric ward because of his drug induced paranoia, a lien for just over $58,000 was placed on the home that I live in. His name is still on the property, because the separation still isn’t complete, and the lines of credit he didn’t pay, were court ordered to be placed against the property. If I sell my home anything made off the sale now legally has to pay off that lien. He can apply for an exemption to reduce the debt, but I can’t, because the debt is not in my name. And he’s not in a good state of mind and extremely difficult to deal with because of his drug use. If he transfers the home to my name, then I have to assume all of that debt and cannot apply for a reduction because it’s not my name on the debt and I would still be responsible for paying it all back. There are many other things that he’s not paid that can come back on me (property tax on the rental, unpaid utilities, and more). My lawyer said there’s so much to unravel and it’s a great big huge mess. I’m really in a great deal of trouble. I’m extremely stuck. Frozen and don’t know where to start or what to do. I have tried so hard to make good decisions for myself, and my kids. I get up everyday and work hard, pay my bills, take care of my kids, maintain my home and property. Just try to be a good person and hope that eventually everything will turn out ok and that something will go right. But I’m starting to lose hope. I’m scared that my house will get seized. I’m scared I’ll have to move and I won’t be approved for a mortgage and that I won’t be able to keep my family together. I have one older child in school full time, one that is only 19 and works so hard, and my youngest in grade 11. They can’t afford to be on their own and they don’t have any support from there dad. I’m in a house right now that can keep us together and facilitate them going to post secondary education without them having to struggle. But I’m seeing that all disappear because of my ex’s reckless, selfish behavior no matter what I do right and how hard I try. I don’t know what else I can do at this point except ask for help. It’s one of the hardest things in the world for me to do. I am ashamed and feel like I failed as a mom, and it breaks my heart. I know I’m asking for a lot of money but I am getting to the end of my rope. So I’m throwing this out to the universe before it’s too late. I hope my “message in a bottle” is received. Thank you paypal.me/ErinLang1977