I am a 33 year old from Seychelles. It is a group of small islands in the Indian Ocean. I am actually very uneasy coming here to ask/beg for help but I wouldn’t be if it wasn’t to save my daughter’s life/future.
I have worked very hard since I was 18 years old. I achieved alot through Christ who gave me alot of strength to make it through all the hardship I’ve been through.
I come from a family of 6 kids, now 5 because unfortunately we lost the last born at age 24 from a sudden pulmonary embolism. It was a devastating blow for the entire family. I do not think any of us had time to grieve properly. Life had always been tough in the household because of financial lack and I vowed, I would never live like that, because it is so hard when you always lack. It is really hard.
I was always very successful at what I did. At age 27, I had already bought a brand new car and life was well. But during my years, I feel I’ve allowed alot of my former boyfriends rob me of alot. I feel guilty of not doing much more for my family who I love.
At 28 I fell pregnant and had my daughter at age 30. I love my daughter but I hate the situation I have caused her to be in. I vowed to do better and I failed. I feel such shame and contempt towards myself for bringing her into this world when I can’t even get it together.
For a long while I have been in a dark place. I even contemplated taking my own life, just so I don’t see my daughter look at me with contempt. Last year I lost a well paying job and have not been able to get a new job despite applying at several others. I was scammed out of thousands and this also includes 23K which I had borrowed from my mum and have yet to pay back. I have run out of all my savings and now I can’t afford even bus fare.
I sold my car in order to invest the money in property but that did not fall through. I have a legal case against me because the scammers used my account to syphon money from unsuspecting victims like myself. My whole world is a mess…a total mess and I often just think of death. I am a Christian, and I know that God will not allow to go through trials to difficult for one to surmount, but this tears me to the core. My heart literally just aches when I look at all the damage I’ve caused my family and daughter. My family doesn’t talk to me anymore and they do not help me with anything at home.
Even before all this happened, I was kept out of functions that my sisters organised, especially after I gave birth to my daughter. To make matters worse, my daughter’s father has never once bought his daughter anything, from the time I was prehnant with her and now two years later. He cares only about himself and no one else. That what makes me so angry with myself, for giving so much of myself to him. There was a time his bank account read 0.00, and I was his supplier. Even bought him boxers. I gave too much to a stranger and now, here I am begging other strangers for money.
I am so angry with myself. I am so disappointed in myself, but I know deep down that I cannot sit idly by and watch my daughter starve. I will beg for every penny if that will keep a roof over our head, food in our bellys, clothes on our backs, shoes on our feet and bills paid. I cannot watch my daughter suffer. I will beg every Tom, Dick or Harry to save my daughter.
I am however in total despair because, I don’t know if God will have mercy and send a kibd samaritan to help me, my daughter and my family. All my “friends” have abandoned me even though I helped them in their time of trouble. My family has shun me and I am completely alone. Totally alone. My daughter’s father does not even visit or ask about his daughter. It is just a revolving cycle of the past repeating itself. I never wanted to bring my daughter up like this, without a father. I hate every decision that I made but now I have to swallow my pride and plead for help. I promise that your kindness will not go unnoticed. I will continue to be kind to others and help as I will be helped. I trust God is opening the hearts of strangers who will come to my aid.
I need a total of $50,000, mainly to pay off debt a business loan $21,000 (SCR296,860). The remainder is for home expenses, house rent, clothing for my daughter, day care fees, transportation costs, medical fees, shoes, groceries, other daily/monthly household essentials and also to pay for my business license which I was hoping to start this year.
I need to get back on my feet for my daughter’s sake and I really really really hope that God will look at my heart and know that I am sincere in my plea for his divine intervention right here and now as I only have up to 30th June 2022…I need God to speak to the hearts of those that he is sending to help me change my circumstances for the better.
I promise to be a blessing to others as they are being to me. God please watch over them and continue to bless them.
- Please help me…I cannot do this without a helping hand and I am not afraid to admit that I really need your help.