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Last Updated: November 26, 2019

Losing all hope

I’m a single 39 year old woman. Mother of 3 wonderful, understanding, patient children. I thought I have been through the toughest part of my life, but 2019… you have proved me wrong. Long story short, I’m drowning. I’m overcome with anxiety and fear of the future. This was supposed to be the year I got my finances in order, pay off the last of my debts and start rebuilding my credit. In November of last year, my 11 year relationship fell apart. He is not the father to my children, their biological father is out there somewhere and owes me over $48,000 in child support… no joke. But we will never see that. So I don’t receive support to help raise my children. Now I’m completely on my own. My ex even broke into my condo 4 months after we separated, on Easter, and destroyed every I had. All my clothes, all my furniture in my bedroom, our laptop… he dumped at least 3 gallons of paint over my entire bedroom. We had to gut everything and I literally had only the clothes I was wearing. Thankfully he hadn’t touched any of the kids belongings. I did get some money through insurance, but it still wasn’t enough to replace everything. Here starts the panic attacks, anxiety, depression. The job I had, yes haaad, provided me with just enough to get by. I still struggled, and lived paycheck to paycheck. But it was ok, because I was going to make it. I was going to show my kids that I could take care of everything on my own. Then I lost my job.

It’s been almost 2 months. I am collecting and applying for jobs everyday. I have yet to even get a call back. The amount I’m collecting is so small, and I can barley afford gas. I’ve been doing small jobs and refinishing furniture to try and get some extra money, but the bills are piling up and everyday I want to cry, run away, give up. With the holidays around the corner, it’s the possible worst time of year to be going through this. I have a $5,000 bill to a lawyer that had when I was fighting for child support, and about $1,000 in credit card/ doctor bills that I just want to pay off. I can’t have them go to collections. But with the little amount of money I have, its just enough for rent, utilities, car payments. I can’t get a loan, as I already tried. I’m asking for $10,000. So I can pay off my debts, and have a cushion in my bank account until I am able to find another job. I am a good person. I always try to do the right thing, and help others. This year makes me feel like I’m being kicked into the dirt, and I don’t understand what I did to deserve all this.  I know it’s not life changing money, but it will be for me. Just to be able to breath a little and know that I don’t have any debts over my head, and that I have some money in my account so I don’t have to panic about how I’m gonna pay the bills. I am actively looking for work, I am not a lazy person by any means. I am absolutely desperate. That is why I am here. Please help me. I don’t know what I am going to do.

My PayPal Link is: paypal.me/jrondini

Filed Under: Single Moms Tagged With: USA

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