I don’t really know where to start. I need $1429 for bills and rent. I’ve been out of work for over a month and the little money I did save is completely out. I used to be so good at saving money, I don’t know what happened. I want to be honest, the reason I have not gone to work on the past month is completely voluntary. Between childcare and my job it just got so overwhelming. I was always on the verge of being fired bc my kid needed picking up for so many reasons, from “he has a cough” to “there is too many kids” that day. Or they were closed bc it’s a holiday. I just got tired of barely making it. I wanted to find a different daycare but then no other daycare covered my work hours, the only other work hours were overnight and I wouldn’t know what time I was getting off and the daycares don’t play that. At that time it didn’t seem like anything could be worse. But there is. I’m 11 days away from the first and 4 dollars in one bank account, my other bank account just closed bc it was overdrawn. I thought I could start doing hair again, but, clients aren’t coming fast enough, and, honestly I’m doing it out of my apt and we live in the ghetto, the few ppls hair I’ve done I could tell they were uncomfortable in here. I thought about getting another job but then I just fall into the same issue with childcare and I would be making significantly less. Which at that point I would be able to afford the 675 rent. The only other person who had my back with taking care of my son was my mom and she died almost a year ago. Since then I’ve been barely hanging on. My pride won’t let me ask my kids dad for the money, I don’t want anything from him, he believes he has this power over me (he did for awhile) and by asking him for money he wins. Putting him on child support isn’t an option either. I really thought I could do this by myself. But this world it’s not set up for ppl like me. Either I give in to this single mother role and my kid becomes another inner city kid; or, I keep trying to get my business together. I just finished my NASM CPT class and I just need to take the test to be certified. However my computer doesn’t meet the required ram I have to keep trying bc sometimes it does meet the required ram. My internet is about to get cut off but I am about to pawn my canon so I can keep it on so I can hopefully take this test. I want to start working on building my clientele for that and really dive into my career. It took me a long time to figure out where I fit in and I just want to get started. It feels like no matter how much I try I just keep getting punched in the face. I blame myself for this position I have put us in. I know how to get out, I’ve gotten out of these situations before by scamming. The last scam I did bothered my soul so much I went into the deepest depression I had ever been in. I almost started to scam again but when I started I couldn’t bring myself to follow through. I rather be homeless then to continue that lifestyle. Or I rather just get my money legitimately and build myself into someone my kid can respect and look up to. I can’t do that anymore nothing good comes from it. I am a good person, I think. I have been so bitter sense I left my kids father and I just want to be okay again. I want my kid to not see me stress so much. I want a retry. A second chance. I love my kid so much and every single thing I’ve done has been for my kid. I’m not special there are millions of people like me. I just thought I’d try. I don’t even know if this is legit,but, it can’t hurt.