Hi my name is JC and I have 2 boys 18 & 14 .they live with their dad and pawpaw .there lives are not so good and they never had to deal with that kind of stuff living with me. I had a nervous breakdown a few years back and I’m just now I guess sane enough to figure out what is what these days.i have a boyfriend who beats me and the mental abuse is so bad I can barely walk outside bc I feel like I’m not enough in everything I can possibly do.he punished me when I call him on his disrespect and he gets mad so then I get to go without so I dang sure aren’t going to be able to he but p my boys , but they need me .I know the one thing I’m supposed to do before i leave this earth is be the mom they need because they are amazing and i do not deserve such Wonderful kids .both pregnancies were easy and both boys were sleeping through the night within 3 months and they would watch tv in the morning when they got older and never woke me up .they have the best manners and they have the best hearts .also i had a really bad childhood because my mother used to beat me at 2 years old for spilling my sippy cup.i remember being a little girl sitting with my brothers always promising to be better than she was to us or im no better .it took me a long time to learn i can be bitter or i can be better .now i know what that means and its more for yourself then. Them anyway.im stuck with this man bc he got me to get rid of all my friends and family and I sold my car to fix his and I have no where to go or away of going.i have no one to even take me to the food stamp office so I can get my son on foodstamps bc he never had any food in their house .I’m a grown woman who is watching her kids need her and im already dying inside for letting them down to begin with .I feel so helpless and I don’t think I can stand it much longer.they are always going to be my babies and if they need help I’m supposed to save them if I can.i want them to always know no matter what i love them and as long as I have life in my lungs they can always come to me .I dont look like they can do that right now,but ive been trying so hard to figure out how to get a car and a place to live so my boys will always have a home to come home to if they need it .It wasnt always like this for me .I don’t want to stay here .I want to continue to grow and get me back to me also .if there is anyone who can help me with this it would change my life i promise and theirs .thank you so much for listening .my email address is coveygirl85@gmail.com. and my cash app is $crazycovey85.i also have vemno and is @coveygirl85.