I have lost my 5 children due to the abuse I endured and they, at times, witnessed. I am currently trying to regain custody of them but I can’t do that while living on the streets. I grew up in a middle class home but was shown zero affection, given no love, and at times physically abused. I was raised knowing my half sister was loved more than me. Because of this, I have searched for love in all of the wrong places. The final place being the last 9years of my life where I was abused, kept at home and pregnant, I was told I was worthless, nobody would ever love me like him nor would anyone help me if I ever left. He kept my keys and money so if I did leave, I wouldn’t go far. I wasn’t allowed friends or family I’m fact my family now, won’t talk to me because they believe I’ve chosen him over them. I had all of my kids at home and delivered by him. I stayed because he up until that point, was the only love I had felt and knew. I was terrified of losing it. Finally he was arrested after the abuse landed me in the hospital but as much good as its thought it would be, only led me to be homeless, with little to no confidence, and broken. Because I try to keep myself presentable and my upbringing kept me well spoken, I’m looked at in disbelief when I ask for help. I was robbed last night while sleeping behind Wal-Mart which has left me with only the clothes on my back. What little government assistance (Food stamps) I receive I save for my visits with my kids. The shelters are full, I’ve applied for every job I have come across, and called every resource I could for help. Even though I have exhausted every option I’ve been told to explore, I am so hungry, cold, and in need of a shower. I am clean and sober as I must be in order to see my kids. My postpartum depression seems to be getting worse the harder I try because nothing is coming of my every attempt to reach out for help. I know I am a good human being. I don’t steal, I am kind, I give what little I have if ever asked, I do unto others what I’d like done to me.. and I’m stuck wondering how I of all people can be where I am? I know so many other people who are stealing and are living it up. Why do they get to be full and warm? My only fault is falling for anyone who will show me love. I feel silly filling this out and it will only prove how silly it is if nothing comes of it. But it’s an option, so here I am. I don’t have a specific amount to ask for, I’m simply trying to keep a roof over my head so I can be warm until a bed opens up in the shelter and to get a warm meal. I can’t promise to pay it back, but I do promise to pay it forward when I’m able. If you can help me help myself, please do so. I live in Lompoc,, CA so if cash is an issue a hotel stay anywhere in this city works. A meal sent to me..a nything.. i apologize for not posting an image, as I mentioned, I was robbed.. they took everything except what I had on me.. luckily I had my cards as I don’t have a wallet. If you’d like some sort of proof, email me at m.lc.wilson805@gmail.com and I will give what I can. T
hank you in advance. My PayPal is paypal.me/hamel8