I thought I met my soul mate. I believe all human beings are perfect imperfections and I saw the best and good in him. My husband and I fell in love and tried to raise a blended family. We enjoyed laughing, dancing, singing and cooking together. But those joyous occasions came to an abrupt ending.
After 2 years of marriage the good that I once saw was replaced by lies, deceit, controlling and manipulative behavior, increased alcohol dependency, jealousy, big ego, impulsive behavior, emotional immaturity, verbal abuse and easy to jump to anger. I asked my husband at least half a dozen times to go to marriage counseling, he refused. He would not acknowledge that anything was wrong and took no accountability for his actions or showed any remorse. After we had moved to Florida he quit 3 jobs within 12 months from October 2021-July
2022 which caused us to keep losing medical coverage and get behind on the mortgage. My job didn’t offer medical coverage, so at times I could not afford my asthma medication refills and had to decrease the amount I used to make it stretch. My husband didn’t care. Due to the high price of my inhaler, paying cash was not an option. I began to recognize a codependent relationship between my husband and his mother when she moved into our home in January 2022. We were still in the honeymoon faze of our marriage. He catered to his mother and began either treating me like the 3rd wheel or pushed me to the side altogether. He said he was obligated to his mother and that I pushed myself to the side. He made financial decisions on his own or with his mother. He applied for personal loans and credits cards, as if he was single. When funds were depleted, he was pulling at his mother’s purse strings or looking to me to find a solution.
He had a tendency to make impulsive decisions and purchases. He wanted to take the equity out of our house to buy his mother a home. When I addressed
all of this he was dismissive. He typically drank on his days off, but the Alcohol addiction increased especially when there was a gap in employment, which caused him to become more verbally and emotionally abusive. He would be spiteful on purpose and treated me like he didn’t even like me calling me fake. Nonchalantly he had told me that he had messed up and had other loans that I was not aware of and that he may have to file for bankruptcy. My stress and anxiety levels went through the roof, I couldn’t respond. There was nothing to say, the damage was already done. I had to gain my mental and emotional strength to care for my disabled child from a previous relationship.
His mother would wait on him hand and foot with the intent to consume all his time and attention, treating him either like a child or her husband. There
were several times when I would cook dinner and while the food would be sitting on the stove, she would go behind me and cook a big meal and shove a
plate of food in front of him to eat as soon as she would see him. It was as if what I made was not good enough for her son. When I tried to address this,
she would ask what is wrong with doing that? Then she would play the victim. My husband defended his mother no matter what. I felt like I was in competition with my mother-law for the position of wife. So, when the behavior continued and my husband became more distant from me and more attached to his mother, I just stopped trying to work on the marriage that was one sided. I was married to myself because my husband had checked out. I was not eating or sleeping and physically, mentally, and emotionally depleted. Needless to say, things got worse. On one drunken occasion he stated to me, “I told my mother I am not her husband”. Then on another occasion he said that he was married to his mother and daughters. Other times he would say that he should have stayed single and just had different women when he felt like it. Claiming that I never loved him. He would talk from both sides of his mouth. On one side he would use being drunk as an excuse for not remembering these statements that he made. On the other side, he would say that when he drinks, he has no hair on his tongue, meaning he was speaking his truth.
The events on the evening of August 4th, 2022, caused this marriage to be irreconcilable. He had quit his 3rd job on July 19th. By August 4th he was on his 16th day of drinking heavily. I had a long day at work and was physically and mentally drained. I drove long distances and assisted elderly and disabled individuals with their needs. He began being belligerent while I was trying to feed my son. We exchanged words and then I finally asked him to stop talking to me. For the 2nd time, he told me that he is married to his mother and daughters, he threw his wedding ring at me, said I was a bad wife and told me he was talking to his ex, his daughters’ mother. His mother stood there with whomever she was on the phone with and had it on speaker like it was a show. I walked away to watch TV and my husband, and his mother went out on the back patio. An hour later they came in and he decided to be confrontational again by taking the remote and telling me he wants to watch TV.
I told him the show wasn’t finished and asked him to watch TV in the bedroom. He stated that he bought the TV and wanted to watch it. I tried to retrieve.
the remote from him while he was holding it over his 6ft 3 frame. I pushed him out of frustration and fell backwards on the glass coffee table. His mother yells that she is calling the police. Grabiel and his mother wanted me gone so bad that they lied to the authorities about what happened on their police report, stating that I initiated the confrontation. Unfortunately, our security cameras did not record the events. Now I finally figured out who wrote “He’s Mine” on our wedding sign-in frame at our reception.
I was an independent woman who had a brand-new house built for my son, a nice job and money in the bank. I sold my home when we moved to Florida. Now I am homeless and had to move out of state to share a bedroom with my 15-year-old autistic son in a family members home. I supported my ex-husband emotionally, mentally, and at many times financially. I thought we were a team. I filed our taxes jointly so my child tax credit could help pay down his back child support that he claimed he did not owe. Taking funds away from my own child while trying to help pay child support for children that were not my own. I was all in for my marriage but would have made other choices if I had known my spouse was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. My son and I have had our life turned upside down. I spent 6 moths in therapy and finally had the mental and emotional strength to go back to work doing what I love, helping others. Unfortunately, my paychecks are not enough to get us into our own home or apartment. I have to stay on top of our monthly storage fee of $166 a month to hang on to our belongings until we are able to get our own place. I make sure my son has everything he needs for school and that we keep our vehicle running and food in our bellies. We are getting by and are grateful for what we have, we are blessed to have family to put a roof over our heads. There are no extra funds to fix my credit fast let alone pay my ex-husbands debt that he has stuck me with.
We have been divorced since December of 2022. When I filed my federal taxes in March 2023 my refund totaling $1915.00 was taken for his back child support and taxes that he owed. They even sent me a bill for the balance that is still due of $527.24 which probably has been accruing interest as I write this. His car was repossessed and since my name is on it too, I started getting emails of a balance of $3,988.80 after they sold it. The joint bank account that we had sent me a bill in May of 2023 for $473.71 a debt he accrued from one of his personal loans. For a short time, all was quiet. Then I received a collection on August 10th for State taxes that I repeatedly told him he owed for now a total of $2440.73. So as of August 25th, I have a pile of debt sitting in front of me totaling $7,430.48. The judge that signed our divorce decree stated that he was responsible for his debt which I forwarded to all the debt collectors. But since we were married, and my name was on the above debts and have been made the responsible party.
Thank you for taking the time to read the story of my life for the past few years. I can provide documentation for all the above debts if necessary. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Cash App Account: $AtPeace315