Hi! I am new here, so please bare with me.
A little bit about myself. I am 36 years old and I have 4 wonderful children. I work as a homelessness prevention officer, in a small town in NSW. I moved to Australia as a single mum with three children, with nothing more than two suitcases and a dream of changing our future for my children. In the 10 years we have been here, I have struggled through homelessness, DV, sickness, we have gone without food, without clothes, without windows in my car. I became a mum at 16, with no qualifications, no work experience, and once we settled in Australia I just knew that I had to make this work. I had to give my children a chance at life that I never had. A childhood I never had. To say the first four years were the hardest of my entire life is not an understatement. Some days, I couldn’t afford the $0.80 for a loaf of bread from Coles. But I am stubborn, and I refused to give up. I walked the streets asking every single shop for a job, until I found one. That gave me a little income, and some work experience. From there, I applied and successfully secured a traineeship in Disability. I struggled through for 6 months, and the day I graduated I was ecstatic. I was so proud of myself. I gradually moved my way up and moved to a new town, where I secured two jobs. My children at the time were 2, 6 and 9. I would work 8.30 – 3.30 at a day program, then rush to my next job at 3.40 to do after school care for children with a disability, then rush to pick up my eldest two who would catch the bus home and have to stay on their own until I finished my second job, then go and pick up my youngest from childcare, often just as they were closing up. Between this, I would work as a cleaner at my children’s school twice a week in leiu of school fees. Weekends were spent with my children, enjoying our family time. I eventually met my now ex husband, and together we had my fourth and final child. Sadly, just before Christmas last year, for the final time, we separated. It has been such a tough time for myself and my children. But I refuse to allow myself to fall into despair, because I have fought so hard to provide my family with love, stability, and success. I am often bewildered at the woman I have become, on my own, with no family nor friends to support me along the way. It has been 10 long years since I have hugged either of my parents. It has been 10 years since I have felt the warmth of my families embrace. 10 years since I could sit in the sun with my dad in the morning and chat about life, 10 years since I’ve been able to hold my mums hand. I miss my family so incredibly much, it is a physical ache in my heart. But, I do this for my children.
My baby, miss 7, has never met her grandparents. There is a photo of me and my parents that sits on my shelf, and when she was younger she used to prop it up on the table as she was eating breakfast and pretend she was eating with nana and grandad. It broke my heart. She often takes the photo down now amd whispers in her sweet little voice “Hi, grandad… I love you so much.”
My mum is very unwell. She has lived a life of heartache and struggle. She was always the one who would give her last two dollars to an old lady in the bakery who was short for a cake. The one who would stop the car to pat the horses on the side of the road. The one who would sit up all night making me costumes for book parade, sewing every individual sequin onto a mermaid tail she had made for me. But mentally, she was very unwell. She deteriorated badly and in turn, we lived a hard life of uncertainty and fear. I am a strong, outspoken advocate for mental health sufferers, and despite the heartache I’ve experienced, I love my mum to bits.
I could write for an eternity. In fact, I have begun penning a book, of my insane life story. One day, I am determined to have my story published, because I know without a doubt that I have been given life experiences so I can help others.
But my greatest wish…. my greatest wish is to br able to pay for my parents to come over here, before my mum passes away. I want my mummy amd my daddy to meet my children, to dote on them, and I want to spoil them with love and affection and hugs that I’ve been unable to do for the last 10 years.
I cannot return to my home land. I escaped horrific DV, told by the police and child services that they simply could not keep us safe and unless I did something drastic to protect my children, they would be removed from my care. So without hesitation, I hopped on a plane, with those two suitcases, wept in my dads arms as I said my goodbyes, and here I am today, speaking from my heart. So, as much as I would love to hop on a plane and take my babies home to see my parents, I just can’t.
People take their loved ones for granted. My heart simply aches seeing other women with their mums, enjoying a coffee together in the sun, shopping at stores together, or just enjoying each other’s company. I know that my mummy’s time is limited, and I fear that soon, it will be too late. If I had the funds, I would fly my parents over here to spend a week with us, and relish every single moment that we get to spend together. Financially, for me and my family, it is not feasible to do this without help.
So I ask here, with love and gratitude, for someone to please, please help me with my wish. No matter how old you are, a hug from your dad will never be too much.
Thank you, if you have made it through to here.