I don’t know where to start to be honest. I am in an abusive marriage and need to get out with my children so we can get away from this toxic situation. I met my husband when I was 16 and he was 19. He was joining the military when I met him. So you can imagine our relationship went pretty fast like alot of military relationships. So after a year of dating we decided to get married. All without ever living with eachother before hand. And I realized that was a big problem. After we got married and I moved in with him and my already 2 year old daughter. Which she is not biological his but he took her in as his own. Anyways after we had moved in is when things started going bad. My husband and I were verbally arguing all the time. He would get angry cause the house wasn’t completely clean when he got home from work. Even though I was cleaning and taking care of my daughter while he was at duty in the military. I became pregnant with my 2nd child about a month of moving in. Which as you could imagine made things a little more stressful for me. I was still very excited, my husband was not though however. When I told him he was very rude and said ” great another mouth to feed” . The verbal fighting got worse as he would start accusing me of cheating on him and he didn’t fully believe that the baby was his. He started also begging me for bedroom relations even though further into my pregnancy the more I wasn’t feeling good. And the begging started to become demanding to just taking. I finally had my first son. Which my husband refused to cut his umbilical cord or even hold him after he was born. My husband ot discharged from the military due to medical problems. We moved back to our home state. We’re things started to get physically abusive and sexually towards me. He was constantly trying to cut me from my family. Making me feel crazy even asking him to cuddle with me. Blaming me for every little thing that went wrong. As we were homeless for 2 years after coming home. I kept looking for work while taking care of our 2 kids and trying to find us places to live. I finally got a job and we got a place. He made me put the money in his account so he could control what happened with my money. Fast forward another 4 years and I had my last baby. My baby boy. My husband once again wanted nothing to do with him. All 3 of my kids have unfortunately seen the abuse my husband has done towards me and of course me reacting to his abuse so I haven’t been in the best state either. I did finally leave 2 years ago. Moved in with my mom to take care of her and start anew. However my mom ended up passing away last year. Which forced me and my kids to move back in with my husband. And the abuse started all over again but now he has a tracker on my phone. A camera outside our house. I am not allowed to work or have any money. I’m barley allowed to leave my house now or even see my last 2 family members I have in my life. I’m expected to have the whole house clean before he comes home from.work. I’m expected to take care of our 3 kids and his cat by myself. Because of all this I haven’t been the parent my kids deserve. I am not the woman I know I am. I feel so defeated and I am worthless. I want so much more for my kids and I want out. But I have no where to go. As he has cut me from my friends and family. And he knows that. He threatens to throw out me and our kids on a weekly basis when he gets mad at me for anything. Try to treat my kids like they are slaves that have no feelings and should know how to act like an adult even though they are 11, 8 and 2. My kids and I can not do it anymore. I am asking for help so I can get a hotel for just a little while or enough money for a room to rent and money for some stuff we may need as my husband wouldn’t most likely.not let me take anything that is ours cause in his eyes it’s his house and he pays for everything so everything is his. I do understand that scammers have used abuse as an excuse to get money and not use it on what they said they would but that is not my case. I have evidence of all his abuse and plan on when I can get out filling for divorce and full custody and have this evidence for when that time comes. Anything helps. Thank you so much for listening to my story
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