2018 just wasn’t my year, its been one thing after another. I have two wonderful awesome teenage boys, ages 16 and 14. After my divorce from their father and having to leave everything and start fresh was very hard, but we overcame so much getting away. We were excited and I was running to prove that I could do everything I knew I could do for them. To pave a road better than what I had. Every parent wants better for their own. Fast forward a year and a half. I’m moving up in my job in management and planning to start a new chapter. But the first big bump hits us. My youngest starts throwing up every time he eats and has a massive headache where he will be in bed for days on end just throwing up and sleeping. We went to Children’s Hospital and got some answers, but I’m still not a 100% sure he is good. But we know what foods to stay away from, there are days that still gets him which in turn has me having to stay home from work. Which I cant afford to do. But we are strong and hold each other up. A few months later we have to find a new place to live. There are no places around here and the market is high. But we are able to find a place to live. And my fellow co-workers surprised us with help for first/and last months rent. My rent is $1,375.00 and I was lucky because everyone else is higher. But a few weeks later my dryer dies. I didn’t think nothing of it went to Aaron’s and got a new one, but I now have a new bill. A few weeks later my refrigerate dies, I cant win. I don’t have extra money lying around. So I added it to my Aaron’s bill. Now that bill is $216.00. As time goes on my hours get cut at work. And my bills start climbing and building( rent, lights,water, garbage, internet, phone, insurance, and Aaron’s)I’m thinking no big deal I’ll just add a second job people do it everyday and live. I’m strong I got this. I wake up to my day of hell(the start of it). I jump in my car at 5:45 am to go to work. And my engine light is on. I’m thinking maybe its just cold. which it was. So I’m sitting in my car waiting for it to warm up a little bit before I drive off. So I go and make a call to my co worker(to vent) while I’m waiting. Nope my phone is turned off. Why? I paid my bill. Nope I paid my light bill because its the winter and it was double than normal. Phone was going to wait until payday. So now I’m crying in my cold ass car. I used my WiFi to get a hold of my friend who told me the same thing its most likely cold, just come to work. We’ll figure it out like us single moms do. We got this! So go to work. At lunch we drop it off at the shop. He says I just need a tune up. That will be $400.00 bucks, please. Say what? I need my car so I did a payday loan. No No No where was a person that could tell me that was a bad freaking idea. But I got my car back and the light was off. Fast forward a week, maybe. Its all a blare now. My car stops as I’m pulling off the freeway. I’m trying to get it to the side of the road where its safe. No one and I mean no one stopped to help. Which made me start to cry and I mean the ugly tears too. Finally a little old lady and her grandson stopped and helped me. She asked me if I needed help and I turned my ugly tear face to her. She said baby girl it will be OK. I got to the side of the road safely and they made sure I was OK. I said yes, I’m going to call a tow truck. Thank you so much and God bless. I get in my car and start to dial my phone. Yep! Forgot my phone was turned off still. So get out and start walking home, it starts raining. I can’t win. I must have someone else’s Karma because I’m a good girl. I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. I go to work, come home start dinner, go get one son from practice, come home finish dinner, take the other one to practice, we come home and clean/ laundry/homework. Than when that is all done which is around 10/11 pm I’ll read a book. A book. I don’t party, heck I don’t even have a boyfriend. To scared to go down that road again. We didn’t do Christmas nothing just paid bills, try to keep everything on. I got the bill for my car. I cant pay it. It’s the transmission. Geez. Everyone says get a new car. I can’t my credit is crap since my divorce. I was working on it and getting there until all this crap fell in my lap. I just need my car. My co workers have been picking me up when they can but a few days they cant. So I miss out on work I cant miss. I’ve tried the taxi but they are always late and the bus but it doesn’t run that early by me and I have to walk kind of far to get to the bus stop. And Uber is a joke here. There are to few and its new so $15 each way is a no go. I just need my car fixed. Which will be $5,100. And that’s not even everything that needs fixed(total$7,158.26) but everything else can wait. Once I get my car I will hit the road to get a second job and get everything else on track. I’m crying just thinking about it, yes even now. Seems all I do it cry anymore. I ask for my wonderful boys who have been my rock, who don’t ask for nothing. I’m a horrible mom. I put my pride aside. If I could get on my hands and knees I would. I promised everything would get better once we got away. That we would be happy. I haven’t been able to give them what they want always but I’ve ALWAYS been able to give them what they need. But I can’t, I’m a failure. I failed. Sorry for venting so much. OK a lot. But any help that you could pass onto my family would truly be a blessing.
Thank you from an Army Veteran(13W) and mother