I’m at the end of my rope and I am 100% desperate for any kind of kindness or help. I don’t know where else to turn, as I have tried everything. I tried contacting debt consolidation services, which act like they want to help, but in actuality just made me feel dumb. I have a job now, I had a better job before COVID with insurance, retirement, all that. I have a job now, but it’s nothing like what I had before. I’m trying to build my credit, but this past year has literally been one hit after another and I can’t keep up.
I have a bill in collections that I have been paying down, but I can only do $50 per month. Its about $500, and I have credit card bills that I keep making the monthly payment but then I end up having to use it to make gas purchases, or groceries. I can’t get the balance down, and 2 months ago I had to open up a new card because my cars starter went, and I needed new brakes. It was over $1,500, so now I have 3 credit cards maxed out. All that, and the car literally just died on me this weekend. So now I have nothing. I can’t even junk it because I still owe 1,200 on the car. I feel like I am being tested. I’m a person who always tries to do the right thing and I feel like I am constantly getting beat down. I have thoughts of suicide, running away, all the horrible thoughts that keep you up at night… I’m 42 and I just don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel at this point. I have 3 children. My daughter is in college, I have taken out loans that I don’t even know how I will pay back. I’m drowning in debt just trying to survive. I don’t have nice things, I live paycheck to paycheck just trying to get by. All these monthly payments make it almost impossible to save, or leave enough in my account for emergencies. Now I have the car issue. Car taxes are coming up… I don’t know what to do. On the outside I act ok, but every day I’m panicking because I don’t know what I am going to do and if this is going to be the week were everything REALLY falls apart. So here I am, begging for money. I know there are others out there in far more worse shape than I am, and I also know that if I was ever in a position to help others I would absolutely do it. But I am the one that needs help now. I need some sign of hope. If I can wipe my slate clean, I can hopefully get on track and not feel overwhelmed everyday. My daughter needed a winter coat and I had to charge it, even though I know my card was almost maxed out. I feel like I am going backwards. I don’t want these cards anymore! I got them to help build my credit, but they have become my crutch to get through hard times, and now I’m falling apart.
I’m humbly asking for help, from strangers. I’m desperate. If you could help, even a little, you have no idea of the burden you would be helping to lift off my shoulders. I’ve included images of my CC bills, as well as my current bank account. As soon as I got paid last Friday, almost all my paycheck was gone to auto debits for bills and car insurance on a car that not longer runs. I can’t take this anymore. Thank you for taking the time to read this plea.