I am really weary about reaching out on here, not sure if it will do me any good. I have just been at a point a desperation for longer than expected. I have been trying to remain positive but nothing seems to move forward. I have been in a bad spot for about two years now. My father passed away in 2016 and life has never been the same. I regret that when I lost him, I lost myself and motivation to live and work like he raised me to have. For a little over a year I stopped working, stopped hanging out with friends, stopped caring pretty much all together about me and my well being. I didn’t see the light to snap out of this funk until I became pregnant and once it was too late. I found out I was pregnant a month after being evicted from my very own first apartment I was so proud of. My car got repossessed. I lost my bank account and to this day I cannot get approved for even a bank account. It’s really amazing, how much I ruined my life in one year and a couple months. I just want to get myself back to where I was. Decent credit. Caught up on bills. Not owing anyone or anything. I now have the most adorable little man named Eddie, after my father. This kid makes my heart swell and I want nothing more but to LIVE again and move on and make my dad proud of me again. I would like to feel proud of me again. The damage I created to my credit and relationships w people in my life, and just my overall well being makes my stomach turn. A very huge lesson learned. Never lose yourself. I just came across this site researching ideas for me to get ahead with my money problems and I came across this and basically I am just at the point to start begging people. I worry everyday I wake up until I sleep about my financial situation and I promised myself to not give up. One day I will be where I need to be and be able to afford a home and a happy life for me and my son. I would like to take care of the list of things holding me back from living a normal happy life with my son. I want to take him to swimming lessons at this moment and don’t have the funds and not sure I ever will! I now work at my friends restaurant and I have gotten back into a routine of working but I also have a checklist of paying off what I can and a baby sitter. I’m always left with no money soon after I get paid. And for that part I am proud and not regretful but so far it feels like it’s been barely a dent and I just keep seeking ways to make it satisfactory. I live at my moms but my goal is to live with my son and raise him and be able to provide for him throughout his childhood and never make the mistakes I made. I am still trying to figure out the site but I plan on posting updated photos of proof of what keeps holding these desires back from me. If I can just get everything to certain point to where I feel challenged but not so overwhelmed and hopeless as I have been then I would be so grateful and blessed. I want to always keep a job and earn things for that would be the best example to give my son. I’m not sure if I would ever even admit to him that I reached out onto this site. I just feel I have went every route except this one and every little bit helps and when it all comes down to it, I need the help. I was told to not be afraid to ask for help. So that’s what this is. If I ever reach a level to be able to help someone else, that is another thought in mind but that’s obviously for another time in the future I can only hope for right now.
I’m not sure if I include my paypal link here.