Cue the “you may be wondering how I ended up in this situation” soundbite..
Truthfully there are probably a number of valid reasons but the one I’m here to throw out as the primary instigator is Mental health.
I am a 31 year old single (of 2) mom who lives in a small town in northern Canada.
Financially there was a time when things were easier or just less prone to keep me up half the night.
A bit of backstory I recently left my part time job at a financial institution I worked at for 5 years. I’m someone who’s riddled with anxiety but also competent to know the show must go on because life isn’t free. In my time there I had never particularly enjoyed it and knew it wasn’t endgame for me. I also had a boss who was always on my back for seemingly no reason as my performance was adequate.
Last year the fall of 2021 I sort of snapped mentally and took a leave. It was the first time I had ever taken a leave in my entirety of working history.
That came with a lot of shame but I knew for the sake of my children and myself if I continued to neglect my mental health. There might not ever be that chance to improve and make a change.
It’s also vital to the story that my leave experience was a gong show with this company. They advocate no pressure but we all know how cooperate is ran. It’s a game of prey on the weak and grind them down until they are forced to come back.
After the leave had me feeling “shook “ as the kids say and I came back after 5 months it wasn’t the same.
I dreaded going which didn’t help the mental health even though I was trying to combat it at the same time. Truthfully it was like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos… The disrespectful comments the lack of empathy as well as suddenly being on my every move I could tell they were trying to phase me out ..
As of about a week ago I gave them what they wanted. I want respect that feels like the bare minimum to ask for from a workplace.
Things got expensive in the spring and I was falling behind on a lot of things. I kind of shut down and didn’t burden a soul with what was going on. That was a mistake for the first time in 12 years I temporarily moved into my parents with two kids. Bless those saints I will never be able to repay them in this lifetime.
I dug deep and tried to push my dislike aside for my working situation. I took more shifts I put in more visible effort and maintained a good relationship with a new manager. Silver lining I obtained a new apartment paid the first and last on my own which I feel the sting from lol
Ironically when it rains it just straight up storms because my children’s father stopped paying support. Now it may not be a lot but I like many others every dollar counts. So it’s been months without that extra income every month. I miss it more than I miss dairy.
I had a double insurance payment come out today on the day rent is due which puts my about $250 behind. I really don’t want to be on such poor footing two months in. I also have to swallow my pride and say it’s been hard to even buy groceries and it’s not me I worry about but the two mouths that rely on me.
Now for as bleak as a lot of that may have sounded. I do have an interview at a new restaurant in town on Thursday and I have some stuff on the go at home because it’s important to stay proactive about these things !
I guess if anyone reads this I’m just asking for anything to float by on a for a bit. The gratitude is strong even if it can’t be felt through a screen I just know that this situation is relatable to someone out there.
I sincerely thank anyone who donates.
My PayPal link is @paquette30