I’m a single mama of two children. My youngest child has autism, non-verbal and developmentally delayed. We attend many appointments each week for him such as therapies, etc. Each appointment is anywhere from 20 minutes to 3 hours away as we live in a small rural community. My oldest child is also in counseling, which he attends every two weeks. We are trying to get it to where he can have it here in town, but right now it’s 30 minutes away. As well as all my appointments for my health issues that are anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours away every two weeks to every month. I’m currently trying to get on SSDI as well as my youngest child. I have not been able to work due to my youngest child’s health issues since he was born and will not be able to work for at least the next year as his doctor signed off that he will need constant care for the next year and does not feel he should be in a daycare setting. As well as all of our appointments, I would miss a lot of work.
I saved my tax returns and child care credit payments. I used them to pay my bills, get us to appointments, our needs, etc. Money was tight, but with my savings I always had it worked out.
My recent relationship started out great. I had known him for years. We were two peas in a pod. We did everything together. We always worked as a team, it was us against the world. We took care of my kids together and life was finally so good. In December of 2021 I found out I was pregnant with twins. Things took a turn for the worst in January 2022. He got drunk and lunged at me. I ended up hitting him in the face out of complete fear and reaction to protect myself. I have been abused in previous relationships. We broke up. A couple weeks later I lost one of our twins. In mid-February we got back together. He quit drinking. Things were back to nothing but good. Our relationship got stronger. In March I lost our other twin. That took a toll on both of us, but we worked through it together. Things started getting rough at the beginning of April. He was working a full-time job, 40+hrs a week, making $18 an hour, yet asking me for money every week even though I didn’t have a job. Promising me he would pay me back when he got paid. Manipulating me, guilting me with all these reasons as to why he needed it. When I told him no, when I wasn’t seeing any of it back, he would get so mad. He would start bashing me, etc. He then just started taking money. I ended our relationship on Memorial day weekend. He ended up taking my $5k tax return, stealing my youngest autistic sons savings money $600 and $2k of my insurance claim from my car. I have never seen a dime of his money. When I went to return his belongings, he drugged me. I ended up waking up in his gravel driveway behind my car. I couldn’t move, I was super confused and I felt super drunk. I had only had 2 shots of Fireball in 2 hour time span. My youngest child was sleeping in the backseat of my car. All I could think was I needed to get into my car, but I couldn’t move. I don’t know how I got in my car, but I got into my drivers seat. Once I did, he took my child out and took him into his mom’s house. The next thing I remember is hearing him and his mom screaming. I just wanted to get my baby, but I couldn’t move! I remember mustering up the strength to go in the house to get him. I walked into his bedroom and grabbed my son. As I was walking out with him, my Ex told me I wasn’t F’in going anywhere. I remember I just kept walking. I remember his mother even trying to make me get in her car and I just kept walking to my car. I knew I wasn’t going to drive, but I just wanted to be in my car with my son. I remember getting into my car and leaning my seat all the way back and talking to my son, him laughing. My ex came and took my phone. He kept telling me he was going to call the sheriff if I was going to drive. I kept telling him I wasn’t going anywhere I just wanted him to leave me alone. After that I don’t remember much. The next thing I remember is bright lights shining into my car and I looked over toward the fire he had going, I seen a deputy. The deputy came over to my car and opened the door. I remember sitting up and thanking God it was one that I knew and that I lived in a small town like this. I have known this deputy all my life. I told him I wasn’t going anywhere. He could clearly see that. I remember the deputy asking me over and over if there was something I wasn’t telling him, but at that time I was so confused, I couldn’t piece anything together. He asked me if my ex hit me or pushed me and I told him no. He asked me if my ex was abusive, I told him not physically and the deputy asked if he was mentally and emotionally. I told him he is a narcissistic abuser to the fullest. He told me that he could definitely see that. The deputy breathalyzed me just to see where my blood alcohol level was at and I only blew a .098. Where I live the legal driving limit is .08. Yet, I could barely talk or walk. My ex became all nice and concerned once the deputy was there. Telling the deputy that I was more than welcome to stay there, etc. I had no one to call. So, I ended up having to stay there. I remember when I took my leggings off they were full of sand and like pail loads of sand. I was filthy of gravel. My girdle already unsnapped. The deputy called me 2 days later when he went on duty next and talked to me. I told him everything I remembered and pieced together. I lost an hour and half of time. He told me he knew something was wrong as soon as he looked at me. The only reason my ex is not being charged is because we can not prove what he used to drug me. My ex of course went around saying I just got sloppy drunk and passed out in his driveway. But, I was always the bad one and he was always the good. I am now in extensive therapy to try and get through everything.
Meanwhile all this happening. I had hit a deer with my van I had in December. My insurance company totaled in out. As I said previously, my ex took $2k of this money. So, I was only left with $3k to get a vehicle on top of my van for trade-in, which wasn’t much. I went to trade it in to a local small dealership. I gave the lady all the pieces it needed to be fixed to the minor damage. I ended up getting a newer vehicle that I thought was going to be reliable for my children and I. I was so excited! That came to a halt real quick. She had told me it was mechanically safe and that the only thing was that the back tires were very worn and needed to be replaced. They created a washboard affect due to them being super worn. When I got used tires to replace them, that wasn’t the case. The rear sway bar had been snapped for quite some time and became bent to heck! She never ordered the replacement pieces for the little damage this vehicle had. The back bottom bumper side piece by the bumper and lift gate. The lift gate only had a tiny dent at the very bottom. That was part of the sale deal though. Then the vehicle started going dead all the time. Everyday I would go to get into it, I would have to jump it. It got so bad I would have to carry a jump pack. I could go six blocks away to the local gas station and if I had just jumped it to go there, shut off my car and went to turn it on, I would have to jump it again. The battery was fried. Multiple fuses were missing from the fuse boxes as well as the wrong amp fuses in it. When I asked her about all these issues she admitted to me that she did not inspect the vehicle before she sold it to me, she only drove it. She also so it to me as a 4WD with a 2.5L? (maybe 2.0L) ecoboost engine and it’s acutally a 2WD with a 1.6L engine which made a price difference of $3k. She took two months to get me my title. After the first month when I went to her for it, she re-wrote my bill of sale to give herself more time to get it. After she didn’t have it for another month, I turned it over to a DOT investigator who ended up getting it and closing her down by August of this year. I have tried to reach out to her and talk about all of this. Negotiate with her. She has blocked my number. Blocked me from the dealership facebook page and everything.
I have been robbed of basically $10,000 in the matter of months. That I was using to take care of my children. We now live with my mother. I do not have a reliable vehicle. I can not afford to get it fixed. We are skipping appointments due to lack of funds. My son had his $600 savings money stolen. I don’t know what else to do. I have done everything I can to try and make ends meet.
I have always been the type of person to have my priorities straight and have a plan. Everything organized out so I can get what I need done. My children have always came first and had what they need and deserve. I have always helped those who need it out whenever I can and however I can. I raised my niece and nephew as a single mother myself when I had pretty much nothing myself while their mother was addicted to drugs so they didn’t get put into foster care. I have always believed that everyone deserves a second chance. I believe you should always help someone in need no matter the situation if you can because someday you may be in their shoes or in need of some type of help. That is me right now. Everyone I have helped or that were supposed to be my friend has turned away from me, but that’s okay. I believe there are still good people out there that will be the blessing and helpful soul I desperately need in this hard time right now.
Thank you for reading my story. Any help would be a true blessing.