Hello! My name is Lorena Huizar I am 33 years old and I just got out of an 11 year marriage with mental and physical abuse, I am currently going through a divorce and I have 2 children, Jocelyn 7 and Anthony 10.
My life since I married has been one long roller coaster ride. Shortly after I married my ex husband received rumors about boyfriends I had in the past and for some reason he believed them all. Because of this he built a thick wall and I was never able to break through it no matter what I did to make our lives Happy. He had this guard up and sadly during the entire marriage he never let that guard down. I am a woman of faith and I always had my marriage in my prayers hoping that one day that wall he had up would be torn down.
I then got pregnant with my son Anthony thinking that this would definitely do a change in his heart and finally let me in, for a while things seemed good but he would still not come to me to hug, touch, kiss or simply hold my hand. So I would attempt to show affection but I would always get rejected. I thought that by having his baby things would change and well that was not the case. By the time my son was 3 I got pregnant with a baby girl I was very excited about having a baby girl that I focused on my son and my baby to forget about the problems I was having with their father, I didn’t ever think about leaving for many reasons.. I was/am a Christian woman and I was hopeful God would make a change in my ex husband’s life, I didn’t want to separate my kids from their father and I thought I would never make it on my own with 2 kids.
In 2015 I went to my little brothers wedding in Mexico, and all of my family noticed I was not the same happy cheerful person before I had married. By the time I got back my kids father wasn’t talking to me because he didn’t even want me to travel to visit my family and because he had heard of more rumors of me being in touch with an ex boyfriend while on my trip to Mexico. When the topic came up he was so enraged and full of jealousy that he then physically abused me, he left me bruised and the worst part was that my children saw this unfold, they heard my screams and came to find me only to find their daddy hitting their mommy with a belt :( I have never endured that kind of my pain in my entire life. For 3 months I didn’t talk to him and I didn’t leave because I felt scared. Within time I was able to forgive but we all know that something like that you could never truly forget.
A year and a half after the abuse ICE picked him up from our home and it was a moment where I felt weird without a man in the house but at the same time I felt this relief and peace in my heart.
I don’t know why God does what he does only he knows, but when I didn’t leave him when he abused me God decided to step in and take him out of the picture for good. I have been alone and on my own since June of 2017 and we ran a company together and I did what I could to keep running it. But now i am at a point where if I don’t come up with a pretty penny I may be losing my company I worked so hard to get.
I have not spoken to my ex husband since August of 2018 till 2 days ago that I needed to mention a couple of things.
He opened up his own company and has been trying to take my employees from me, he doesn’t want to give his kids child support and lastly he has been name calling me to my 10 yr old son. I believe name calling is just truly unnecessary.
He replied with a very hateful message that I kind of wanted to doubt it was him telling me all those horrible words. He is determined to see me fail even if that means that my kids get affected by this as well.
Yes the employee amount decreased and it has impacted me financially. My payroll company is in the negative by at least 10-15 thousand dollars :( I am behind on my mortgage and truck payments. I am on the brink of falling apart but I have to remember who is watching me because to this day my babies believe I am super mom, and it breaks my heart because we are barely able to get groceries at times.
I have prayed I have cried I have asked for the little help I can from my closest family members but I really don’t want to be a burden on them.
I can give more details about my situation if needed, but if i am able to pay all the negative I have it would lift a huge load of my back, I have not been at peace since a couple months back now and because of money I am here begging for any kind of help I can get.
All I want in this life is to live everyday to the fullest and be the best mom I can be to my babies.