Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening to every single one of you who is taking the time out of your life to read this. I appreciate you all regardless of if you help. It is taking a great deal out of me to even sit here and type this. I was not raised to ask anyone for anything, you need it you get it, which I have stood strongly behind until today because I am here asking strangers for help.
First, let me introduce myself and begin by telling you all a little about myself and my son and our unfortunate events.
My name is Alexis, and I am a single parent to one amazing, smart, talented, handsome, blue-eyed me is Lexie and I am a single parent to one amazing, smart, talented, handsome blue eyed little boy.
Rewind back to 2003 I found out I was pregnant in Feb. of that year I was in high school and Feb. of that year I found out I was pregnant. In May of that same year 2 days before my high school graduation I found out I miscarried & would have to walk with my child still in the womb. I could not have surgery until the following day. One of the worst weeks of my life. Depression sunk in bad. But fast forward to Oct of that same year, I met my ex-husband who was in the Navy and we had orders to go to Sigonella, Sicily. We were excited, blessed, and happy. Moving right along to “05” when we started trying to have a baby. Long story short, I was told by 2 doctors that it was never going to happen. My womb was full of scar tissue from the surgery I had for my miscarriage. Devastated was an understatement and here comes depression again.
I was in that deep dark horrible depression for years. On top of this my ex and I decided to get a divorce and I just know it was all my fault, I could not get out of that horrible place I got accustomed to. But being a mom was the only thing I ever wanted to be in this life, and in an instant that dream was shattered, ripped apart, and stumped on.
17 years later, in “19”, I finally came to my senses and accepted the fact that I could never have any kids of my own and I was okay, and I was going to be okay. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine what happened next.
March of “20” I was sitting there talking to my son’s father and trying to figure out my cycle situation. It had not come for going on 3 months now. And let me tell you that was something I could bet money on every month and win, because that sucker was coming and coming full force, never missed a month, a day, nothing. I was still in denial and blamed it on overstressing myself. I did not want to feel that sick feeling all over again and get back to that state of mind I was in when I lost my first child and the doctors gave me that ridiculous news.
Against everything I was feeling inside the next day, I purchased 4 pregnancy tests. I took one as soon as I got home from the store. The first test said positive! I did not believe it, so I went on to take the remaining 3 over the next couple of days. Again, they all said positive! I had to go purchase one more. And yes that one too said positive! Now I’m a believer and I made a doctors appointment. He confirmed that I was most definitely having a baby, due date was Sept 28, 2020, & he also let me hear my baby’s heartbeat to calm and settled my mind and nerves!
In July of “2020” I was put in the hospital for a month and within that month I had my son 11 weeks (about 2 and a half months) early. He stayed in NICU for 75 days (about 2 and a half months) before he could come home to me. It was the best and worse experiences of my life.
After my son came home, things with his father started getting rough. The mental, emotional, and physical abuse started slowly. I had my blinders on (never did I ever want my son to grow up in a broken home) because I was determined to make things work up until two weeks ago when it worsened.
He cost me a lot of things in life. My job, my home, my vehicle, my son almost, my family, my friends, and the list goes on. My family and friends turned their back on me because I would not turn my back on my child’s father. I wanted to be a family and raise my son with both parents but that is something I learned now is not possible.
I am a full-time student on top of this, luckily he did not do anything to jeopardize my schooling. The sad part about all of this is I carried him for all these years. I paid for everything! Bills, vehicles, gas, food, diapers, wipes, baby clothes, clothes for him, whatever it was we needed or my son needed we had it because of me. Then he goes and does the most outrageous things and I lose it all in a instant,
My son did not have a Christmas because the money I had saved up got stolen from me. (I think it was by his own father). I am trying to get him a couple of gifts since he had to miss out on Christmas. I believe that there are good-hearted people in this hateful world we live in, and you being so generous will be extremely helpful and beyond appreciated.
I am also trying to get into a new place because this couch-to-couch thing is not made for a mother and her son.
I am just stuck in a rut and I just need help getting out of it and I have nowhere else to turn to. I am an honest, hard-working, momma who would do anything for my son, I just need a little push/help right now so I can get back on track!
Thanks in advance and may God bless you all, Happy New Year!
Alexis & son