Four years ago I became a dad, was married, had a house, and a new truck. Was working two jobs as well as being a part time student at a tech school for criminal justice while splitting the responsibilities of being a new parent. During that time my wife and I started to drift apart. My second job that I had worked for a couple years was at a bar, I worked Friday and Saturday nights as a bouncer. With all of the stress at home, instead of work it became more of a release or break. I got wrapped up in the lifestyle and fell nothing short of an alcoholic. My wife wanted to leave me, she did. There was no warning. She was seeing someone she met at work for some time. I lost my home, my son for a brief period that seemed like an eternity. I lost just about everything else I’d worked so hard to have. During this time I got into a lot of trouble with the police. I made many mistakes and would love the opportunity to hit the reset button so to speak. I rolled my new truck 5 times on a gravel road going about 50 mph, i had been drinking heavily. I had a passenger who walked away with a scratch. I was cut up pretty good but no serious injuries. I drove the damaged truck eleven miles where it ran out of gas a block away from my apartment. Was swarmed by police. That was my 2nd owi, which made me a felon, causing injury owi modifier. A couple months prior I got my first from my ex wife calling the police on me. I was at her house knocking on the door in the middle of the night asking who’s car was parked out front. I was there for about 30 seconds and left. She called saying I was driving drunk with my infant son and that I was there to kill her. She also said I had a gun. I was only guilty of driving under the influence. I was very distraught and had no intention of hurting her, whoever she was with on the other hand.. And that’s just me being honest, that was my feeling at the time. Things are different now. I got a domestic abuse and disorderly conduct along with my 1st owi. I was surrounded and held at gunpoint by 15 officer’s. There went my criminal justice degree. After my owi’s I fell into a deep depression I lost my full time job that I’d held for some years. I wasn’t able to have or even see my son. I got him back 50/50 placement and custody. I was a great dad and was so proud. He’s 4 now. I missed his last birthday in July. It breaks my heart. I never wanted to miss anything like that. My parents were never around. Luckily my grandparents were there. That’s what happened, this is now. My depression never went away. I spent some time in mental health after trying to take my life. I learned a very valuable lesson and there’s a scare the entire width of my right wrist to remind me. I’ve been sober for three years now. I see a psychiatrist/counselor. I haven’t been in trouble with law enforcement since I quit drinking. But now I can’t seem to get back in the swing of things. I haven’t been able to hold a steady job. My savings are depleted. I’ve had to borrow money from everyone I could’ve borrowed from. I can’t do hard physical labor like I had in the past because my right hand doesn’t work properly with a cut tendon. I’ve sold all valuables. And have pawned all of my tools which was my main source of income. What I want most of all is to get my tools back from the pawn store and start taking on handyman jobs I was once very good at doing. I don’t want money for my bills. I want to work and hold my own. But I want to repay everyone that’s helped me and some that I think have given up on me. My Aunt Bethel is first on my list. I feel so horrible asking her for help. I want to pay her back that is the most important thing I could do, it would mean the world to me and to her I’m sure. I’m praying my son will have me back in his life. He needs me and I know it. I’m honestly just a coward. I haven’t been able to face him. I can’t have him see me so worn thin. I will be better one day. I will be the father he deserves. I just need a little help. I don’t want to let anyone down anymore. I live in a little town, work is 15 minutes away by vehicle which I don’t have. And I’m now eligible for my occupational license which is very exciting. But that costs money aswell. I feel kind of lowly asking for money like this but it almost seems like it’s my last option. I will continue to do what I can and I won’t ever give up like I had in the past. But a little help would go a long way. A push in the right direction. Thank you for taking the time to read this. My name is Austin. I’m asking for help