Hello,
My name is Bill, and my family needs help. I have been suffering through extreme financial pressure due to a horrible divorce situation.
About me: I am a survivor of childhood neglect and poverty, I am neurodivergent, yet I have managed to achieve a lot in life. I have felt confused about people, society, and where I am supposed to fit in, my whole life. I have struggled with interpersonal communication, making friends, and asking for help.
Both my parent have issues with drug addiction. They were both unemployed the majority of my childhood, so I regularly experienced food insecurity, emotional abuse, and feelings of hopelessness. I have been independent of my parents since age 16. I left home to go to Job Corps, and I flourished. In three years, I had a HS diploma, job training, an Associate Degree, and I was accepted to Western Washington University and their Elementary Education program.
After Job Corps, I started a relationship with a woman who I met in that program. We lived together for several years, and in 2011 we learned that she was pregnant. My life experience compelled me to “do the right thing,” for the sake of my unborn child, despite being largely unhappy in the relationship.
I proposed to her, took a part-time job, and finished my teaching degree. In 2012, my son was born, and I devoted all of my energy and being into being a good father and provider. In about 3 years, I had my student loans paid off, and I was a home owner: at age 26. As time passed, my wife and I drifted apart, but we always managed to reconnect to a degree. People change a lot between the ages of 19 and 30. In 2017, we had a daughter, and I started making more income: 55K a year as a technology instructor. We had ups and downs, but I thought we were in it for the long haul, but I was wrong.
After many tearful talks, arguments, and failures to meet eye to eye, my wife served me with divorce papers: December 2019, right before the coronavirus pandemic hit.
I wear clothes from GoodWill and drive a busted used car. My wife buys whatever she wants, drives a Subaru that we bought new. My income served her needs, and that of my family. I had no savings to speak of.
When we went to the initial court hearing, I was handed temporary orders for $1,500 a month in child support, and 69% of other child-related costs: daycare, medical bills, etc. We have a temporary parenting plan that means I only see my kids on the weekends which has caused me a horrid amount of emotional pain. Being a good dad was all I ever wanted in life, especially because of my childhood.
Her attorney requested that I not remove any furnishings from the family home, and the judge granted her request. In order to move out, I maxed out the two credit cards that I had, I found a small apartment, and tried to make it work. As I unloaded my mattress into my new place, she called me up and explained to me that she needed to enroll both kids in full-time daycare because the school were getting shut down on account of Covid-19. The bill was about $2,000 a month.
Washington State has a law that says you can’t ask for more than 50% of someone’s income for child support, but the law doesn’t apply to additional costs associated with daycare. With a 60K salary, I was struggling to pay the $1500 + $1400 for daycare. My take home pay is about $3,800 per month, and I was sending her $2,900. After paying $835 for rent, I was left with nothing to support myself, so I ran up my credit cards some more.
I maxed out the credit limit of both cards, and I didn’t income left to pay the bills. I claimed Covid-19 related hardship with the bank, so they didn’t come at me right away, and I began donating Plasma in order to afford groceries.
I went back to court after 6 months of these circumstances, and I paid the last of my coronavirus stimulus to my lawyer, in the hopes of improving the temporary orders. The judge declines modifying my child support order, declined modifying the parenting plan, and adjusted the percentage of daycare to 61%.
At this point, I had moved in with a new partner: someone who supported me emotionally. Someone who actually likes me for who I am, not what I can do for them. She’s great with my kids, and a really sweet person. She has been unemployed since early in the pandemic, so she hasn’t been able to consistently help pay rent.
The changes to my orders were not substantial enough to effect my situation, and my lawyer dropped my case due to non-payment. I still owe the lawyer $1400. I looked into getting reduced cost legal services, but there simply doesn’t exist services for people like me: My income is too high to qualify, and none of the organization have resources to help with family law matters like mine.
Without any means to fix the situation, I spiraled into depression. Pouring my soul into my work, and struggling to keep ugly thoughts out of my head. It’s been about 2 years since the last time I was in court. I have been trying to make it work: stretching out tax return windfalls with regular trips to donate plasma.
I decided that I wasn’t going to continue hiding what I am going through, and I asked for help. I started a GoFundMe asking for money to get the ball rolling on getting the divorce finalized; my goal was to get $10,000 which I could use to hire a new attorney and pay for the services of a guardian ad litem, in the hopes of getting a 50/50 parenting plan.
8 People donated to my campaign, and some extended family offered the help that they could. I used some of the funds to get a washer and a dryer, and I’ve had to dip into savings to cover rent which is 1,300 a month. I had $4,000 in savings which should cover the cost of a GAL. For the first time in years, I had some hope.
On May 7th, I was served with a subpoena for a lawsuit by the credit card companies, for $18,500. I have 20 days to respond, and 13 days have passed already. I’ve appealed to my GoFundMe, but I got only one $50 donation. I’ve tried to go for a promotion at work in an effort to make more money, but no luck there.
I need about $30,000 to get things right in my life. $18,500 to pay off Chase, $1400 to pay the lawyer who dropped my case, and $10,000 to hire a quality lawyer for the ugly divorce.
I love my kids, my work, my partner, there are a lot of people who care for me, but no one has the means to save me from this mess that I am in. The stress of all that I am going through effects my whole emotional being. I am a survivor of so much, but I just can’t get myself through this mess alone.
