In January of 21, my boyfriend and I went on a long weekend to a neighboring state. As we were attempting to go explore the area, I stopped at the front desk to discuss our stay that night. As I was talking to the lady behind the desk, I glanced over at my boyfriend. He had, for lack of a better explanation, an odd look on his face. As I was asking him what was wrong, both of his arms started to lift at the same time and it appeared that he was trying to turn in a circle, but his legs weren’t following the top of his body. It wasn’t until he fell to the ground, hitting the heater mounted on the wall, that I realized that he wasn’t concious. I don’t know if my memory from this point is accurate or not, but it’s the best I can do. I ran to him screaming his name. In my brain, I told myself eveything was going to be ok. I reminded myself that I was a nurse in a cardiology clinic. I remember telling myself, “You’re trained for this. You know what to do!” I then proceeded to do CPR, albeit wrong, on my best friend. At one point, he stopped seizing and went completely limp. In my mind, he had passed away. He wasn’t the color any living human being is. I lost my mind at that point and remember running in circles in the lobby screaming that he had died. As people were pouring out of their rooms to see what the screaming was about, a lady ran over to me stating she was a nurse and asked what happened. I told her I didn’t know, he just collapsed, had a seizure, and died. I then ran to the elevator and went to our room on the 3rd floor. When I entered the room, I remember saying out loud to myself, “What are you doing up here? You can’t leave Thom down there alone!” As I was returning to the lobby, I attempted to call my mom. I didn’t realize that, at some point, I had already called her. She listened as I ran around screaming about someone being dead, thinking I had been abducted and couldn’t speak. Just as I brought the phone to my ear and said, “Oh my God, Mom! Thom just died!” the elevator doors opened, and the nurse that had asked me what happened yelled, “He’s not dead! He’s breathing on his own now! He’s going to wake up!” I told my mom I’d call her back and ran to be with Thom.
Due to this happening at the height of COVID, I wasn’t able to go to the emergency room with him. Instead, I was left alone at a hotel, hours from home, to wonder what was going on. All I knew, for 4 hours, was that my boyfriend had been hauled away in an ambulance, and he didn’t know his own name when he went. When my phone rang and it was my boyfriend’s voice on the other end, sounding completely normal, my heart burst with joy. When I went to go pick him up from the ER that day, I had NO IDEA that it would be the first time of many.
Honestly, I can go over everything that has happened in the past year if anyone is interested. I just don’t know that this is supposed to be a book. To make a very long story short, after surgery to remove the brain tumor that had been misdiagnosed as a stroke for months, we learned that my healthy. 41 year old boyfriend was anything but healthy. Not only was he not healthy, but there isn’t anything that can be done to save him. Sure, there’s radiation and chemo therapy, but it doesn’t kill the cancer. It just slows the cancer’s growth. We have been told it’s not a matter of IF it comes back, it’s a matter of when.
Thom has not been able to work since the first seizure due to memory issues. I had an amazing job as a nurse in a cardiologist office that I loved. Unforunately, due to his seizures, I lost not only that job, but the job I got after the cardiology office as a referral nurse at a local hospital. As long as I was in my first 90 days, though, they were not willing to work with me to have a day off regardless of it being due to brain surgery.
After his tumor removal, the doctors were hopeful that his seizures would stop. Unfortunately, they have not. That means that anytime Thom comes or goes home, there are 22 stairs he has to navigate due to our 2nd floor apartment. I searched for close to a year to find accessible, semi affordable housing that will be safe for him, yet still allow him some independence when I still can. Did I mention that his oncology and neurology doctors no longer want him left alone for long periods of time? That means that not only is he not able to work, but his doctor’s aren’t allowing me to work, either.
Between the 2 of us, we have 4 kiddos. 2 mine and 2 his. Although he and his ex wife have joint custody, and myself and my kid’s dad have joint custody, and none of them live with us fulltime, we want all of the kids to have their own space to be able to excape to. We have a VERY rough couple of years ahead of us, and I want to try to make it as comfortable as possible for what’s to come. I did find a house that I think will be perfect for us. It took close to a year to find. It took climbing the ladder within HUD to prove that our local housing authority has been following incorrect rules for years. It took my dignity, and my pride on some days. Now, that the end (beginning of the end) of the search is within grasping point, I don’t have the money to make the deposit payment. Not to mention, from the wrong procedures being used, we haven’t been able to take advantage of the Section 8 program a single time since we were approved in May. We are now 3 months behind on the rent where we live now. Without help from somewhere, I’m not going to be able to provide this house to him and our kids, even though it is deserved beyond question. Please consider helping show him that there is still good in the world. And please, please help ensure we have somewhere comfortable to face the Hell we’ve been warned is coming our way. Currently our only income is 1190 from disability for him and 99.81 a week for child support for me. The rent where we would like to move is 1100.00 itself. I know it’s not anyone’s responsibility to take care of us. I have to, however, ask that you find it in your heart to help us, if even a little bit. You would be literally giving children more time with their dad, and giving a girlfriend longer with the one man that has ever truly shown her how special she is.
Please help us as we try to go forward knowing what the end will be. The link is paypal.me/kerrileohr
You will be making a difference in our lives, no matter how big, or small a donation is!