This year has been rough for everyone. I know. It’s been terrible and my heart breaks for everyone.
My husband and I moved to Clarksville in January. We started this year with a loss. His cousin. Soon after my mom was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. A month later my husband’s father was murdered. The case is unsolved. He has no closure. Got nothing to remember his daddy by. He didn’t even find out until that evening, from a cousin. His dad’s wife didn’t even call him. Had no intentions to.
Then he lost his job. I was missing work left and right trying to care for my dying mother. You have no clue how fast time flies until a loved one is put on a countdown. Dad had to work. Covid meant everyone had to stay away. I could barely work if I wanted to see her because I was so scared to bring it to her. I worked in retail. At a very busy place.
Our car broke down. We fixed it, but it put us further behind.
My mother died suddenly. My husband lost another job. The vehicle broke down again. We’re using a loaner.
I tried walking to work. Two and a half hours away. I did it.
My managers started harassing me over the work I missed. They knew I didn’t have a vehicle. They knew I was walking 2.5 hours. They scheduled me for one hour several days. Days they knew I couldn’t work.
I lost my job. I have no way of working unless I walk from Woodlawn into Clarksville. I’m a small woman. Every time I walk I’m stopped by people, I was even followed home once. I’m afraid it’s going to have to be that way though.
My husband is working, but we’re slipping. His work screwed their checks up. He got paid for one week after working two, and now has to wait until the 15th for the other two and the one they’re holding.
Our landlord is angry. He doesn’t care or understand. All he knows is to him, we’re terrible tenants who can’t pay the bills.
We’ve never been late like this. Never. We’re good renters. He doesn’t know this though, because all he’s seen is our lives crumbling. You know people don’t care about that, they just watch you fall and judge. As he says, his others pay on time, why can’t we?
Good for them, I guess. I hope their year has been better.
My dad had a new girlfriend three weeks after mom died. He’s too occupied to help us.
We’ve been denied loans. I won’t get my stimulus for a few weeks. Husband doesn’t get them.
If it was just us I probably wouldn’t care. This year has been so shitty. I can’t even afford my medications. We don’t have kids, thank goodness. Just a lot of rescue animals. I don’t want to let them down.
Like I said, we’ve been stable until this year. So the pets were never a problem, please don’t judge me for having them. They were fat and happy and still are. It’s just been hard this year.
We’ve had weeks without food. Water and elec have been cut off multiple times this year. We’ve been fighting so hard. But I’m afraid it’s done. I’m afraid we’ve lost. I can’t even get food stamps because I can’t afford to get an ID for Tennessee and mine is expired.
The shit we’ve been through has been unreal. We just want to mourn our parents, and we can’t, haven’t been able to. Because the bills keep piling and absolutely no one cares. About us or our dead parents. We’ve never felt so alone.
I don’t know if anyone can help but absolutely anything would be a blessing. Please. We’re good people, we will pay it forward. We’ll pay it back when we can if we have to. But we need help. I’m open to talk about everything more if needed.