I am asking for some kind souls to help me and my boyfriend get out of the deep hole someone pushed us into after taking advantage of us for around one year.
To put this simply, I live in Belgium and moved in with my boyfriend over a year ago, and he was living with a roommate (his “best friend” since childhood, who was dating my best friend at the time (she’s tetraplegic, keep that in mind for later)). The best friend was fine with me moving in and even insisted since I was in a distance relationship with my boyfriend at the time, and he drove my boyfriend to my house several times (1h away from their place) to make sure we could see each other. So far everything was great, I moved in with them and I helped like I could with money, but since I didn’t have a job yet in that area, I only had 2000euros on my account and used it to pay for gaz everytime we needed it. The best friend was the only one of us working since my boyfriend got fired for burning his hand to the 3rd degree with boiling oil (his boss said it wasn’t a good excuse to not come to work even though his whole hand was burned and he couldn’t move it well, and he was a waiter so serving clients with a hand full of blisters wouldn’t be really nice).
But that was only the start of our troubles, because we managed to live like this for a few months, my boyfriend and I looking for jobs everywhere we could while our roommate worked. But the roommate had a dog (and we had a kitten that my boyfriend got for me, my baby Nugget, and the roommate used to put him in a bag and spin it around to “spook the kitty” and then he was surprised that Nugget wouldn’t go near him and I even told him he couldn’t touch my cat ever again) and kept him in a cage all the time, never taking him on walks, so I offered to do it for him since I love dogs and it would make the dog feel much better and the roommate could rest after his work day without having to worry about taking the dog for a walk. Unfortunately the dog only listened to him (out of fear, since he was abused by the roommate anytime he was angry)and everytime he got out of the cage (it happened a few times when I was alone in the house) he would jump on me and growl, and when he was in the cage he would just look at me with dead eyes and keep staring until I left the room. We managed to get him out on a walk with my boyfriend once, at the very beginning of us living together, and we took him in the woods near the house so he could run around, but even then he tried to jump on me and my boyfriend had to push him away, that’s when he first did it. And since no one could take him out safely other than the roommate, he had to live in his cage full of excrements and the roommate wouldn’t clean it, so the whole house smelled and even our clothes kept the smell when we would go out, it was horrible.
Soon after that, the landlord discovered the mess and accused my boyfriend since the rent was under his name. We had to get rid of the dog (they took him to a refuge and he was soon adopted by the roommate’s ex (original owner of the dog)), but the place was declared unsanitary and they gave us a week to move out (which is illegal here, by the way, then they claimed they never did that and only admitted when my boyfriend sent the mail telling us to move out as proof). The only place we found that was affordable and still available when we asked for a visit was in France (20 minutes from where we were, we lived near the border of the country) so we moved in and tried to find jobs and unlock financial aidsbut we couldn’t find any because we didn’t have the required papers (basically you need some papers to be able to work in France but to get those papers you need to find a job). The roommate kept his job near our previous house, so he still went to work and we could “survive” for the time being, but it didn’t last.
At the time, he was still dating my best friend, who was in a rehabilitation center because she was paralysed from the head down since 2019 (he knew it before he started dating her), and it was hard for him to go see her regularly. His ex tried to get back in contact, but he supposedly blocked her and all, but he also stopped calling my best friend (they called each other every night and slept on call, but he pretended he was too tired for that, no logic). The thing is, my boyfriend and I could hear him every single night on a call with a girl, and it wasn’t his girlfriend but his ex. He even had the audacity to go see my best friend several times after that, only to have sex with her then leave and go call his ex in her back. He even denied cheating on her but went to his “dad” for a few days but was actually at his ex’s house.
After finally breaking up with my best friend (and leaving her in pieces without even feeling bad, still calling his ex every night but without even hiding it now) he told my boyfriend and I that he needed to leave and go back to his mom’s house for a while for his mental health, which I understand, he was the only one working, living with a couple and all, so we agreed that he would move out in a few weeks. But he didn’t because my boyfriend found a job (temporary, he was remplacing someone who got sick and couldn’t work for a few months). We thought the roommate got better and decided not to move out, but we were so wrong.
Around that time, we started receiving mails from our previous landlord, who wanted us to pay for the damage caused by the dog (the cage was against a wall, and he ripped the wallpaper off and all), and the roommate said that since it was his dog, he would pay for the damage, but he never did and the debt kept getting bigger (and was at the name of my boyfriend since the roommate wasn’t registered as living there too). We even made him sign a letter saying he was taking the debt and would pay it all of himself, but to this day he still didn’t do it. With this debt came another one, because apparently the roommate was too lazy to put the trash in front of the house and instead left it in front of the shop on the other side of the road (not very logic either, but there were witnesses who saw him do it) and we got another debt for littering on a public place, which he said he would pay as well.
With the debts pilling on and my boyfriend and I still not finding jobs (I managed to work for a few weeks where myboyfriend’s parents work, a restaurant, where they needed someone to clean the dishes and stuff. I was paid 100euros per day because the boss didn’t want to hire me because I looked poor (I tried wearing nice clothes but they expected me to wear Gucci or something like that to do the dishes, and our clothes didn’t smell bad anymore since we didn’t have the dog anymore and I deep cleaned all our clothes)) the roommate decided to move out (again) but said he would come back when things got better. He said he got fired from his job and preferred going back to his mom’s house, but my boyfriend’s mother knows the roommate’s boss personnally and asked what happened since he was one of the best employees, and she explained that he asked to get fired.
After all those lies, he finally moved out, promising he would help paying the rent until we found a job, and would even drive me around if I needed to for a job interview, but instead he ignored all our calls and texts, only answering to brag about his new phone, new car, etc. And now that we managed to find a house back in Belgium, with the help of my family (which helped us by paying our rent for a few months and helping us move out in my godmother’s deceased parents’ house) he now threatens to come to our house (he doesn’t have the address) with friends to beat my boyfriend.
My godmother was kind enough to let us live here rent free until we find jobs, but it’s a small village with no shops and we don’t have any means of transportation (the closest job is 3km away, and we tried getting a job there several times with no success) so we didn’t find anything yet and it has been 4 months, we keep receiving mails about the unpaid debts and even had couny court bailiff come to our door and tell us to pay or they will come back to take our belongings.
We can’t stand this situation anymore, we can’t sleep, my boyfriend already had health issues before all this but now they worsened and on some days his heart has some trouble working correctly and he even fainted a few times, I’m scared for his health and he mental health, as he was suicidal and keeps telling me I’m the only reason he hasn’t shot himself in the head yet…
My parents can’t keep helping us as I have 2 siblings that are still oging to school, and I understand that even for my family this situation is not possible, and I’m grateful for their help even though they didn’t even like my boyfriend at first, but I just want to be able to finally start living instead of surviving, I want to find a job and be able to pay back my family and help my boyfriend because he hides our debts from me but I know because I check the mail we get when he’s not watching, but honestly this is our last hope, we have tried everything else, even jobs online, selling our stuff, offering to work for people in the village (taking care of the lawn, animals, kids, cleaning the house, etc) but nothing worked and I hope this can v-because I don’t know what will happen if we can’t get back on our feet.
This is a desperate call for help from a couple trying their best to survive, and you would litterally save our lives if you helped us, even just a little. Thank you for reading my story and I hope you can help us…
My paypal.me link is https://paypal.me/saroushekapotato?country.x=FR&locale.x=en_US