First, THANK YOU to ANYONE who is willing to help me!!!!
I’m embarrassed to ask. I suffer from depression and am having a hard time. I moved to San Diego in September 2018 and was looking for a job until I finally got one and started this month. I have a BA in Psychology and have always maintained on my own. It has just been hard and my mom has been helping me. I went through my savings and she has actually paid my rent, $2500, the last two months.
She was just hospitalized due to several health issues and stress. I don’t want to ask her for help again. I don’t have money for my rent for February. You have no idea if I’m sincere or not, but I am in debt beyond repair. I had no intention to move to San Diego and had taken a loan to pay of my debts and refinanced my car. When the opportunity came to move, I thought it was a blessing. I knew it would be hard, but I’ve ALWAYS struggled. NOTHING ever comes easy for me, ever! I swear, I take two steps forward and get pushed five steps back. But I still try and fight!
Now, I have nothing. I have about $300 left on my Discover card, $9 on my Capitol One card and $711 in the bank. I got paid this week for my first two weeks. The check showed $1000. I am paid hourly at $18/hr and I started on 1/15/19. My rent is $2500. Doing the math, I don’t have enough for my rent or my car note due on 2/1 and my credit cards due by 2/6….plus all the other bills for the month. I just need help with my rent for this month. This will give me the other money to pay my bills. I’m looking for a 2nd job becuase my income is not enough to support me.
I am single and it is just me and my cats…who keep me alive. I say that because I have always been alone, never married, no children, lived alone, took care of myself alone and NEVER asked for help. I see asking for help as a sign of weakness. But as I write this, I’m crying because as much as I have been pushed down in life, I always manage to get up…but not this time. I don’t know what to do. I tried to get loans but my car note and the other loan prevent that. Now, I’m begging.
I know that you work hard for your money and I respect you for your willingness to help others. I just dont know what to do. I can’t fail. I feel like if I fail, I might as well die and I don’t want to die. My depression has lead me to attempt to harm myself in the past and I have fought to NEVER do that again. But now I feel like, why bother? I always lose. I’m so tired of losing at life. I’ve been doing social work my whole life and motivate others to succeed. If they only knew what a failure I was.
I’m sorry to write this long letter, but I hope that you are willing to help me. I’m just asking for help with my rent this month. When I find a part time job that will cover my bills and this job should cover my rent. I am alone and used to taking care of myself. But I don’t know what to do now and I will not be able to pay it by 2/1/19 or the latest 2/2/19.
My parents have sacrificed for us four as we were growing up. My mom often had holes in her underwear just so that we could have when she did not. I never knew want. I never even knew how they struggled until I got older…but I paid them back! I spoiled them! My dad died in 2015 from complications from dementia. My brother is now in a nursing home due to early onset Alzheimer’s. My mother does not need to continue to worry about me. She is too wonderful and and at 86, needs to not worry about her youngest child.
I know this is a HUGE ask from a stranger. I am truly begging and my mom would tell you that I am very proud. I just thought I’d give this a try. My dad always said that nothing hurts a try but a failure.
I hope that you believe that I am worthy of your help. I just want to get back on my feet and not worry about whether I have money to buy real toothpaste or purchase it from the dollar store….although the dollar store has a lot of what I need! LOL
Thank you for taking the time out to read this. I do hope that you find it in your heart to please help me. I just don’t want to lose my apartment. My two cats really like this place….and so do I!
Thank you SO much for your time,
My PayPal is: PayPal.me/WinnieAustin