so, covid-19 has destroyed my family, I have 3 children and my 2 youngest had the virus, the week before the country went into lockdown. I was already home off work sick myself with my own mental health issues where I had put my notice in ready to have a small break and go back to work about a month later. my notice ended the day before we went into lockdown. I worked for a charity so I was not able to be put on furlough and returning wasn’t an option with my children being sick.
I earned well previously and much like others have loans, finance car, big bills.
well, things got worse a few days in. my other half got furloughed, he obviously came home straight away once we suspected the virus was in our home and we all went into isolation as instructed. his boss trying to help offered him the first furlough in the company, my OH is very strong headed in this area of life and began feeling like he was a failure very quickly, because our new income had changed drastically. we called all of our bill providers straight away, the very day we new what would be coming in now. with the policies and new rules changing daily, we did everything we could, applied for benefits, asked for payment breaks, benefits didn’t help, I fell behind with rent. the bank said no because we split the bills, they couldn’t see all the bills on one statement so decided everything was still affordable, even though they said that then in the next breath said we needed help from a hardship company, a choice we fought and fought over, mentally drained ourselves over, if we did that we would lose the cars and loans and effectively go bankrupt, the nerve worked our entire adult lives to build it all up , we want a mortgage and to pay for holidays and maybe get married, going into hardship wasn’t the correct option for us, not when this crisis as. damaging and it is, is temporary and our issues are temporary . hugely pressured us but instead we borrowed money off family, friends, anyone who would help to get us threw. my OH went back to work after 11 weeks home. and the pressure just built up too far, the money didn’t stretch. and we’ve since ended up apart… now I have no income, no best friend, he’s suffering and is off work, he’s a good man, and he would support us if he was able to. I believe he will come home once he’s figured out how to be ok, we’ve both agree its temporary, I called the job centre and stupidly said this, that this is still his home but could I possibly have help in the meantime, they refused. I cut everything back straight away, began using my credit card more than I should, I feed us all on the tiniest budget Andy children do not remember what a treat or sweet is.
I need to get rid of my arrears, I ned to pay off the car so I cannot rid of it and get something cheaper, I need to pay back whats owed out.
just incase things don’t go back to normal. I’ve managed to get into thousands of pounds of debt, like silly amounts in 4 months. my rent is nearly £1000 a month alone! before cars, insurance, before borrowing, and areas, my credit card is now over its limit so those phone calls have started, same as everyone else in the world I had rubbish debts, like catalogues and council tax about creep around again.
I hate that I even searched so desperately for somewhere that this was pebble, to beg for my future, to beg for help off complete strangers, I hate that I am not enough and for the foreseeable future will not be enough, that myself, and my children are suffering because i’m not good enough, maybe if I wasn’t poorly before all of this id be able to find something now or at least have an option moving forward, our schools haven’t opened and risk is terrifying so finding another job soon is going to be impossible.
I’ve asked the banks for help and with the current situation and my not working I cannot get help right now. this is my final hope.
my heart breaks as I quite literally beg for help… please help me