My eyes are finally open. When you love someone with so much love you are always going to be a little blind to their faults. It’s always great when it’s fresh and new. You started out with all the happiness, hope and promise in the world. Your a young 20 year old girl who has just met the ‘one’. I don’t need to explain the in’s and outs of an abusive relationship to most people, because in one way or another we have all heard or talked about it.it hurts and I find it hard to talk about because I feel sick when I think of me as a victim. But if your unlucky enough to have been a Victim yourself or know someone personally who has been then you know what it takes to finally open your eyes and make the brave decision to try and leave. abuse comes in many forms. I think I came to that realisation today. it took me 11 years. That sentence alone makes me mourn for the way my life could have been. I think that today I cried for the last time. I think that today is the day I need to ask for help. Don’t get me wrong, I am by no means poor. I work full time as a care assistant on minimum wage, I pay my share of the bills and rent, and whenever the other half needs money regardless of whether it be 5 pounds or 500 pounds I give it willingly. Because if I don’t then I am to be ‘thrown out’ (my partners words) because I apparently don’t care. The threats I am used too. They used to terrify me because I have no support system, I have no family, my friends are long gone because I was stupid enough to be bullied into spending less and less time with them until one day they understandably gave up on me. I used to think my partner never would throw me out and make me homeless because then they would have nobody to be their verbal punching bag. There is nothing harder than living with someone who does not have a single friend to talk too, who abuses drugs and alcohol on a daily basis, demeans you, talk to you like crap, make constant veiled threats and regularly gas light you and then later call you a liar and try to make out your going crazy. I won’t bother mentioning the rest of the abuse. I’m not quite there yet. My problem is that i have always been able to take so much. It’s almost like you become immune and you pretend your OK. But now I realise that I am not OK. I need help. The only way I can leave is if I have enough money to rent a property in another town where I can’t be found. I am saving what I can but when my bank statements are being taken from me and every thing I do is being monitored it makes it hard. Please if you can spare just a little change to donate to my (hopefully undiscovered) paypal then I would be most grateful. Anything donated would strictly be put towards leaving this volatile situation, to be ableto rent accommodation and become independent. I have been in contact with the council and they arnt willing to help me with housing despite my situation because as I work full time I am according to them deemed able to save and rent privately. I have explained to them several times that I am not willing to give up my job to only possibly maybe gain their help. My job is the only time I leave the house and the only respite I get from my situation. Thankyou for reading this and possibly choosing to help/support me. bright blessings to you all.