Hello, I’m writing this letter in hope of finding some type financial assistance I’m out of options. I won’t lie or try to bullshit my way out of this situation. I’m scared. My nerves are bad and I’m angry with the world at this point in my life. I feel as if life failed me but deep inside I feel I have a lot of blame in this struggle. The past couple years life has hit me from every direction. Federal indictment, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, neglect, divorce, lost a house, three cars, homelessness and had to give up my animals. All because I trusted my ex husband.
I once upon a time was happily married. I felt as if I was a queen married to my king. My high school sweet heart. The man of my dreams. Tall,dark and handsome. Man this man was everything I ever wanted. He was the only man that I had eyes for. As corny as that sounds, it was the God honest truth. Every time he was around me I felt pure love in my heart, my heart would skip a beat. I’d shiver at the thought of him or one look at him I’d still melt. He was the kind of man who aimed to please at everything he do. Our kids where happy. They had everything they wanted. What ever we asked for we received. This was a man who would come home with gifts all the time, new purses, new shoes, jewelry. You know the Facebook post where the guy lays out a heart shape off rose petals and champagne and boxed chocolates and a bubble bath. Yes, that was my guy. I’d wake up to breakfast in bed and foot rubs. I had what I thought a perfect man. My kids the perfect father. He was at every school activity and every sports practice and event. No exaggeration, he never missed anything the kids had going on. He did homework and cooked. He was always good with his hands and my boys loved that. It was always dad can we build this, can you make that. He never said no. I even described to him my dream house. Guess who got her dream house. Me!!!
I worked downtown in the real estate business and my husband owned his own company. We where very financially stable. We were young loving the dream. As a youth my husband was I’m and out of the juvenile system. As an adult he went to Prison and upon his release at the age of 23 I told him I wanted stability. I wanted structure and persistence. I wanted a man who can provide and not ever risk going back to prison. I wanted him to work hard every day. I asked him what his dream was. He looked at me and said I want to build low riders ol school muscle cars. I told him than you will do just that. He opened up his own shop and he did his thing. He was the best in our city and by the time he hit 30 he branded him self. He had other people working for him. I was proud of my husband. His hard work paid off. He was allowed to spend time with his family. I was a proud wife. His freedom of owning his own company allowed his schedule to open and tend to raising our kids.
I was at work one day and my phone kept ringing and buzzing. I was receiving Facebook notifications and text saying PRAYERS, MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU, HOPE EVERYTHING IS OKAY, WHER ARE YOU. I’m looking at my device like what is going on. I get up a leave my desk taking a phone call from my sister in law. Crying saying he’s dead. I’m like what who is dead? She says my husband’s name. For some reason I run outside and I’m not comprehending. I hang up the phone and walk back up stairs to my desk. My boss kept asking me what’s wrong, I probably looked like I seen a ghost. I tell him I have to go. I say to him I’m waiting for my husband to pick me. It’s four he should be here any minute. That day I didn’t drive to work. My husband wanted to take me to breakfast so he drove me. I’m standing in busy downtown waiting for my man. My phone in my hand blowing up with calls, text and notifications. All telling me my husband is dead. No, no, no, my husband is on his way to get me. He’s going to pick me up buy me my favorite tea and we have a basketball game at six. My boss comes down and says to me I just got the call your family is looking for you. Let me take you to the hospital. At that point I knew it was real. I just lost my best friend.
I get to the hospital. I see a lot of people. People I knew growing up. People I liked and some people I thought we left in our past. I see police officers and I see a doctor. I walk to them and ask them where my husband is. They tell me they have a shooting victim back there but they can’t identify who he is. No ID. I was confused. I said everyone is saying it’s my husband. They ask me to describe him so I did they took me to the back and I see my husband in this hospital bed. He wasn’t dead. He was alive via a tube. He had been shot multiple times in his chest. Close range. I didn’t know what to feel. I walk out the room. I get back to the waiting room and pure rage hits me. I see gang members. Nah, nah, nah, I’m screaming you all got my husband later up in this hospital. The police clear everyone out except his immediate family. I caused a huge scene. At this point I was going to learn my husband dark secrets.
I learned he was still selling drugs, I learned he had other woman. I learned that the reason he got shot was because he was still representing his gang connections. Him and his “homie” where riding around seen some other guys and boom shots fired. They start shooting near a school at 3:00 pm when neighborhood school age children where walking home. I read the report of a woman covering up her child as bullets where piercing her Jeep. My husband apparently was a monster. His other woman told me. Stories of him physically being abusive ton them. He had twins I never knew about and another girl pregnant. Imagine learning all these dark secrets all at once. My whole life is a lie.
If things aren’t hard enough. They where about to get worse. My daughter admitted to me her father had been specially abusing her. My whole world ended. I won’t go deep into this b because well I’m sure you understand. Little did I know prior to the shooting the feds where already watching my husband. The shooting triggered the indictment to come sooner. He was arrested after his release from the hospital. My home was seized, my cars and our business. I lost it all.
I thought I had everything. I did at one point. How was I so blind? How’ did I miss it all? Losing everything financially didn’t hurt as much. It’s my daughter, my heart and Soul. How could he hurt her? I’m still trying to recover. I’m paying my husbands debit off because the business was listed in my name. I moved to another city just to get away. I’m paying out of pocket counseling for my daughter. I’m struggling so bad. My lovely car just broke down and is sitting in front of my house because I can’t afford to fix it. This month in can’t even afford rent. My kids and I have faced many challenges. We where homeless for 6 months. Stayed in hotels. Ate microwave food. Well I was trying to get our life in order. None of our family helped. I never really had a family other then my husbands. My husband admitted to me on a recorded call that he did abuse my baby that everything was true about everything. He is now in prison and won’t be getting out anytime soon.
I’m asking for help. I’m short only $300 for my rent. My checks are being garnished. I’m still trying to recover from my past and its hard. I don’t know where else to turn. I’m out of options. Thanks for your help.