Hi, I’m posting here in the off chance that someone will understand what I’m going through and maybe help me fix it with more than just money, I need advice and I need to be able to sustain myself in the end.
From an early age I was diagnosed with ADHD and never focused on school, my mother would just think I’m lazy (which was true but also not the entire problem)
So I never did homework and eventually just slept in class and became extremely depressed over time, eventually dropping out of high school in a self destructive manner, I promised I’d get my GED but I only achieved half of it and never completed it,
I don’t have confidence in myself, and now I’m facing everything catching up to me, I have till tomorrow to pay my rent, I can’t get a job because I’m 30 with an extremely bad memory of his job experience, I’m not sure why it’s so hard to remember the dates and times I’ve worked, I just need 850 to pay my rent, I sometimes muster up the will to deliver food via ubereats when I’m hungry but that’s been my limit so far.
I’m trying to get help and figure out why I’m compulsively giving up on life like this, I’m going to get evicted without my rent and my roomate will get kicked out as well if he doesn’t pay my half, which I’m not sure he has the means to, this is my fault for not working hard enough I understand completely, I just try and I never get very far, I genuinely think something is wrong with me that I haven’t gotten the help or therapy for and I just need someone to help me get on my feet, my PayPal is -880 dollars right now because a person who paid me for lawn cleaning in the past was scammed and the scammer got access to his bank account and then made a chargeback on the payment he made to me, we’ve been both trying to get it resolved but the account is still negative which concerns me, I don’t have access to welfare or SSI because I lost all forms of identification a few years ago and had a depressive episode and laid in bed for a few months never thinking about getting any of it back, I had support from my family at this time which I’ve lost contact with and I’m ashamed of even asking people I don’t even know instead of them, they don’t understand how it feels to not be able to move out of bed, I’m lost, i feel like I’m falling and drowning at the same time, I need a life preserver, can someone please help me with anything? I have until tomorrow to pay my rent in full or I’ll probably end up homeless, I know there’s eviction laws and such but this isn’t just about me, I have a roomate who does work hard and has the will to provide, but he can’t handle the entire rent on his own, I think I’m screwed.